Nephthys, a 10-year-old with nonverbal autism, faces heavy criticism from strangers. Inappropriate remarks her mother wanted to silence in a Facebook post.
Exasperated by the criticism of her daughter, Nephthys, diagnosed with nonverbal autism at age 2 and a half, Alexandra Cunda decided to speak up to silence the malicious comments. In a Facebook post shared more than 9,000 times, this nurse says: “After a week of intense work, after keeping Nephtys because IME on vacation, enduring the heat, the fatigue, we also have to face this ordinary violence of not knowing the disability. And the lack of benevolence in the face of disability. So here I am to go shopping. Neph riding the cart. (Yeah, there was no more yogurt …. I can't leave Neph without yogurt!) I thought he was pretty cool, honey. Despite the noise, the world, all the stimuli, she was pretty good. "
While shopping in a supermarket with her daughter in the town of Lourdes, in the Hautes-Pyrénées, the mother was shocked by the inappropriate remarks made by a stranger towards her daughter. "So sometimes if she hears the screams of children or babies, she imitates the screams. Which she has done several times in the yoghurt section (you can't make it up). And since it's a section where I stay for a while (time to repot my caddy), well she screamed a little. My little big chick in the cart. That's when I walk past a rather classy, elderly lady. She turns around, looks at Nephthys and says something. I do not understand. So I ask: "sorry? ". She looks me straight in the eye and says: "CAPRICES". And there, my arms fell to me (well no, not in real life, they remained hanging on my shoulders. On the other hand my already damaged heart fell, it rolled under the shelf, between yogurts and cheeses) Then my brain got my heart back. I looked at the lady in turn and I said to her: "It is not a whim madam, it is a little girl with autism", writes the mother.
Malicious remarks, Alexandra receives them every day, a daily life that is very difficult for her to bear. "I find myself apologizing for my child who has a disability, which I shouldn't have to do," she laments. Having a daughter with a disability is hard enough, and having irrelevant glances at each other doesn't help. It hurts", the nurse said in the columns of the Huffington Post.
But that day is one too many times. She then decides to use pedagogy to explain what her daughter suffers from: neurodevelopmental disorder. "Ma'am, if you don't know whether it's a whim or not, then if in doubt, don't say anything. Because it hurts a lot." I saw that she was annoyed. So I chose the path of "prevention". I swallowed back my tears. I have explained. She kept telling me about the beauty of Neph (yes that famous idea of disability that makes you ugly). She asked questions. I chose to be nice. But my heart is loose. I am in pain. Once again it hurts. I am aware of all the people I crossed who thought like this lady, but who did not have the kindness to tell me. It is violent …. to be on trial all the time. And that is a reality of disability. A ball that you wear wherever you go. "
A wave of support
Following his testimony, many Internet users wanted to give him support. "I am this lady who will judge, who will look askance. Reading, I understand, and thanks to you, I will be careful from now on", writes a surfer. Other people with relatives with disabilities have said they have had similar experiences. "I even got:‘ Olala, you were patient, I would have bumped into him ", says the mother. Despite the bad comments, the young woman puts it into perspective. “My only comfort is knowing that Nephthys doesn't understand being judged. She continues to share smiles, joy and light around her. Even to those who look at her askance. "
We give all our support to this family.