Excess, spectacle, Super Bowl
The cheesiest Hollywood story of all time
David Needy, Los Angeles
2/14/2022 5:37 am
The Super Bowl in Los Angeles is not a football game, but a completely crazy and questionable entertainment show. The fact that the LA Rams finally win the NFL title at home crowns a kitschy evening of superlatives.
The heat wave that rolls over Los Angeles just before the Super Bowl does the rest. The NFL finals venue is about to explode in the run-up to America’s biggest sporting event. The billboards in the city’s asphalt jungle proudly flash yellow and blue, the colors of the LA Rams. The team is cheered on on the local buses and trains, no topic of conversation is more present. Many Cincinnati Bengals fans are also in town in the days leading up to the final.
At 30 degrees and merciless sun, the fans (the numerous celebrities – no Super Bowl has a higher VIP density – of course sneak through the various entrances specially planned for them) crowd the streets around four hours before the game the $5 billion SoFi Stadium.
Private parking? $300 please
All around, opponents of vaccination with their anti-vaccination posters, beer sellers, Jesus fanatics with microphones make the heated atmosphere perfect. As is usual for Americans, most travel by car via the crowded freeway. A spontaneous private parking space with a resident around the corner? No problem, $300 please.
Of course, there is pure entertainment on the stadium grounds. As befits the capital of show business. Everything is bigger, everything is louder, everything is more colourful. Stages with live music, drones in the air, Tiktok tailgate. The Americans know how to ensnare any target group. In the stadium itself, the party music bangs tirelessly from the oversized video and audio ring – christened Infinity Screen – which is emblazoned over the pitch.
The big question, which only the game can answer, is will the Los Angeles Rams complete their Hollywood story by winning home after trading their entire future for this one season? Or does the underdog, the Cincinnati Bengals, who no one believed capable of before the season, surfed their fairytale wave all the way to the Vince Lombardi Trophy.
Of course, every Hollywood story has a hero, a conflict that the protagonist must solve – and finally a happy ending. But of course, when Los Angeles and the Super Bowl team up, that’s not enough. The NFL final writes several epics in just under four hours of play, produces a number of heroes – but the happy ending belongs to the home team from LA in the very last minute.
“I’m just so proud of my team”
It doesn’t get any more cheesy than the Rams winning the Super Bowl 23-20. “I’m just so proud of my team,” said quarterback Matthew Stafford after the game. “There’s just so many guys on our team who deserve it. So many great players. Guys who gave their hearts and souls to this team.” Like a script from a Hollywood tearjerker.
Shortly before the kick-off, the main actors are actually introduced. “Starring Joe Burrow,” announces the Infinity Screen about the Bengals quarterback. The organizers are extremely happy to accept the Hollywood shoot. Then US stars sing “America the Beautiful” and the national anthem, military veterans are shown and the stadium cheers (mostly without a mask, although wearing one is actually required). “Los Angeles, where fantasy is the reality” lights up on the video screens. Fantasy should become reality for one evening, like in the cinema.
The first act belongs to Odell Beckham Junior. That too is cheesy. The wide receiver was often scolded in his career, considered too eccentric and a team killer. Now he catches a pass from quarterback Stafford and puts a cinematic moonwalk cheer on the lawn. Shortly thereafter, through no external influence, he injured his knee, limped off the field and did not return. Added drama for this flick.
Burrow and Ja’Marr Chase show that the Bengals are also good for action shortly afterwards when the pass receiver plucks the football out of the air with one hand. However, Cincinnati managed only one field goal and the Rams made it 14-3 with another touchdown. As befits a Hollywood showdown, the Bengals respond with a trick play that Tee Higgins completes for a touchdown to make it 10-13.
Kanye West prefers to stay masked
In every break, excessively loud music booms through the stands, stadium cameras capture stars and starlets (pretty much EVERYONE and EVERYONE from sports and show business is there; Kanye West prefers to remain completely masked), who in turn perform a short dance and into the cameras wave as cheers erupt. Whether all this has to be the case can be questioned, but it is an open question. Because entertainment, that’s what everyone wants in this game and is offered en masse.
The show, this is it, and not just a sporting event, culminates in a spectacular half-time. Within a few minutes, hundreds of helpers set up several stages, dancers surround the playing field. Then the rap megastars from Los Angeles appear: Dr. Dre, Snoop Dogg and Kendrick Lamar. They also brought Eminem from Detroit and Mary J. Blidge and 50 Cent from New York. The spectators freak out, dance, sing and celebrate their personal Hollywood musical.
The strip on the field – Steven Spielberg could not have shot it better either – takes a dramatic turn shortly afterwards. On the first play after the break, Joe “Cool” Burrow throws a spectacular 75-yard touchdown pass to Higgins. Stafford threw an interception on the other side, which the Bengals turned into a field goal. Suddenly the underdog leads 20-13.
15 moves for the perfect Hollywood ending
After this intermediate drama, according to the script, there must of course be a drop in tension. The game flattens out a bit, a field goal brings the Rams to 16-20. But the Super Bowl still has the final, cheesy film highlight in store. With 6:13 minutes left to play, Stafford leads his Rams from his own 21-yard line across the entire field.
15 moves for the perfect Hollywood ending: At the end there is a short pass to Cooper Kupp, the eventual MVP of the game, the most valuable player of the game. The home team from Los Angeles takes a 23-20 lead with just under a minute and a half to go. The stadium loudspeakers play Dr. Dre and Snoop Doog’s hit “Next Episode” and the fans of the Rams can’t believe it.
The young quarterback Burrow gets the ball again, but after his grandiose comeback season after a cruciate ligament rupture, the second of his career, he can’t continue his underdog fairy tale. Burrow and the Bengals lose the ball, possession Los Angeles. The entire team sprints onto the field, the confetti cannons dip the area in a blue and yellow sea of kitsch.
The end. The Super Bowl thanks with a bow. Action, excess and spectacle make a football game an entertainment experience. You can like that or not. On this Hollywood evening in Los Angeles, everyone experienced a crazy show that only the Americans put on.