Shouldn't I be bursting with happiness when I hold my newborn baby in my arms? Why do i feel nothing? – Many mothers are anything but happy in the first few days after giving birth. But what exactly is this baby blues? And when does one speak of postpartum depression?
Nine months of pregnancy, nine months in which you prepared for your baby, were happy and excited. But now that your newborn is here, you suddenly feel insecure, maybe you cry a lot too ?! Do not worry! This is completely normal, and there is even a medical term for it: postpartum mood, also known colloquially as baby blues.
About 50 to 80 percent of young mothers fall into an emotional hole between the fourth and tenth day after giving birth. It does not matter whether it is a natural birth or one Caesarean section had. The initial feelings of happiness are suddenly replaced by symptoms such as depression, insecurity and fear. Those affected feel overwhelmed with their baby and the situation.
The baby blues can be triggered by a lack of sleep, exhaustion, but above all an abrupt drop in hormones in the first few days. Usually from the third day after pregnancy, the estrogen and progesterone levels in the body drop drastically. The result: tears, headaches, fatigue, increased sensitivity and irritability.
How long the baby blues lasts varies widely. For some it only lasts a few hours, others suffer for days. Treatment is not necessary. The baby blues usually go away on their own.
Unfortunately, this is not always the case: In around 10 to 15 percent of all mothers, the baby blues develop into a mental illness.
What helps against the baby blues?
In addition to extreme fatigue and the drop in hormones after childbirth, many young mothers also have too high expectations of themselves. From zero hour they want to do everything perfectly and ideally not show any uncertainty. But this pressure makes you feel guilty. Getting used to this new role, being responsible for the tiny baby day and night, takes a while. And young mothers should take them too. There is absolutely no need for shame.
On the contrary: it already helps many to confide in their partner or other close relatives and to speak openly about their feelings. Maybe you also have a friend or acquaintance who has had similar experiences? You can always ask your midwife or doctor for advice. For both of them the baby blues is a completely normal topic, they understand what you are going through and can be at your side.
Otherwise, relief is the most important thing in the baby blues era. If you feel completely overwhelmed with your new baby and the household, you can, for example, get a housekeeper. The health insurance company often pays for this after presenting a medical certificate. It's best to talk to your doctor about it. It certainly doesn't matter if the plates pile up in the sink because you need some rest while your sweetheart sleeps. It is important not to slip into a total state of exhaustion, but to take time for one's new life situation. Because the initial baby blues can also develop into serious postpartum depression.
What is Postpartum Depression?
Postpartum depression, including postpartum or Postnatal Depression called, is a serious depression in the first year after pregnancy. In contrast to the baby blues, postpartum depression is a mental illness that requires treatment and does not go away on its own. Around 10 to 15 percent of all young mothers suffer from this disease. It can develop from the baby blues, but it can also occur after the postpartum period. Women in particular who have previously been prone to depressive moods are particularly susceptible to this depression.
Typical symptoms of postpartum depression are strong self-doubt, fears, inner emptiness, depression and the feeling that you cannot love your own baby. The assumption that the young mother simply does not love her baby enough or that she cannot cope with everyday life with a child is simply wrong. Postpartum depression is a condition that needs treatment. The women who suffer from postpartum depression depend on professional help.
Where can I find help?
You will always get initial support from your midwife or doctor. It's best to talk to her about your symptoms, worries, fears and feelings. She can give you the name of your nearest point of contact and advise you on postpartum depression.
If you would like to inform yourself in advance, the following clubs can help you:
Help with thoughts of suicide If you are thinking about killing yourself, try to talk to other people about it. In an emergency, dial 112 straight away or go to the nearest psychiatric clinic. There is also the anonymous, free and around the clock telephone counseling. You are on the website via help chat Telephone counseling, by e-mail or on the telephone numbers 0800/111 0 111 and 0 800/111 0 222.
Expert interview
One woman who offers such professional help is a qualified psychologist Eleonore Poensgen from Frankfurt am Main. She specializes in the treatment of postpartum depression and, in an interview with ELTERN, tells about the symptoms of postnatal depression, explains the causes and gives tips on how to help affected mothers.
PARENTS: How do you recognize postpartum depression?
Eleonore Poensgen: Symptoms of postpartum depression include insomnia and depression, but also self-doubt and panic attacks. It is very difficult for those affected to enjoy their baby. They feel like they cannot love the child. Depression does not have to follow childbirth. It can also occur for up to a year afterwards. Most of the time it goes away after a few weeks or months, unless the person concerned is biased in terms of her personality.
What do you see as the causes?
An important aspect is the social conditions in which we live. The young mothers are alone with the babies for eight to twelve hours after the birth. That is completely unnatural. In primitive peoples, women who have recently given birth are constantly cared for by neighbors or family members. They have help with daily baby care. They live in community, can get help and get used to their baby and their new life situation.
Why are family structures so important?
Many mothers in Germany miss networks like extended families, which make it easier for them to cope with the new life situation. A young mother needs time to plan a new life together. If this time is not available, it can quickly become overwhelmed and insecure. Isolation can also make the disease worse. Young mothers often have to build up a new social network after their first child is pregnant. They are torn from their social network, especially after moving, as is often the case with children.
Does the mother's personality also play a role?
Yes. Women who have very high expectations of themselves and who want to be perfect in their motherhood often fall ill. As a mother, partner and housewife, you expect yourself to do everything on your own and properly. If they then realize that they cannot do everything themselves, they punish themselves for it. Such women find it difficult to admit to themselves that they need help. Other triggers for postpartum depression can also be hormonal changes after the birth and a lack of sleep.
Does the child's behavior influence the disease?
A child's restlessness can certainly indirectly aggravate the depression. Sick women find themselves in a vicious circle: They blame themselves for the baby's behavior and feel overwhelmed by the crying, which in turn increases the depression.
What are the differences between 'baby blues' and postpartum psychosis?
Eight out of ten women have the 'baby blues' or crying days. The cause of this is the sudden change in hormone levels after birth. The young mothers are dejected. Some cry for no reason or think they cannot care for their baby. But this is reflected within the first week after the birth. The psychosis is reflected in another clinical picture. There is a loss of reality. Those affected hear voices, feel persecuted and have delusions. The reasons for this lie primarily in an innate disposition that can break out when there is great stress. The time after the birth and during the puerperium is very stressful and stressful for mothers.
How can those affected be helped?
It is important that depressed women do not think they have done something wrong or are abnormal because they cannot love their child. The relationship between mother and child, just like that between partners, must grow slowly. Those affected are not bad people, they are just sick. You should contact your partner, family, or friends, and then your doctor or psychotherapist. In psychotherapy it is important for mothers to work on their relationship with themselves. In severe cases, I consider antidepressants to be an important and useful aid to help women out of their crisis. In the case of psychosis, it is necessary to seek medical help immediately and seek medical treatment.
Does the second child relapse?
If the person concerned has had therapy after the first birth, the likelihood of a relapse is low. Sometimes a lot is even easier for women with their second child. You have already grown into the motherhood role, know the situation, ideally have made many contacts and can get help.
This article originally appeared on Eltern.de.