Martin is raising his nine-year-old daughter Hanna alone. Actually everything is fine, he writes to the ELTERN editorial team. But Hanna cannot fulfill a very everyday wish. Because he's a man and the other parents don't trust him – he suspects. Here is his mail.
Dear PARENTS online team,
my daughter Hanna is nine and has lived with me for a good five years. Of course it's not always easy to be alone with a child, but I'm well accepted all round and Hanna is developing splendidly. Sometimes it is even an advantage to be a single father: Every now and then I get recognition from other mothers for “how I can do it all”. Is everything okay then? Almost everything: Hanna would like her friends to stay with us one day. And obviously the limit of normality for the other parents has been reached. Hanna's friends are allowed to come to play, and Hanna can also spend the night with them. But an overnight visit with us: no chance. As often as we've tried: none of Hanna's friends have ever stayed with us. Somehow it never "fit" with the parents. These are mothers and fathers with whom I have got along very well for years. With whom I have sat at parents' round tables for a long time. Who still like to stay for a glass of champagne when they pick up their daughters from Hanna's birthdays. You can see that their daughters like to come to us to play and that Hanna has a nice children's room with a second bed.
At first I didn't even notice, but now I ask myself: At some point Hanna will ask why no girlfriend is allowed to stay with us. Then what do I say? Don't my parents trust me that I can get along with a host child? Or, much worse: As a man, am I under general suspicion of molesting children? Have you ever heard that other single fathers feel the same way? And maybe you have ideas on how I can make it clear to the other parents that their daughters are just as well taken care of with me as Hanna?
Thank you and best regards,
Martin
This article originally appeared on Eltern.de.