Family: Twins with daughter – “For us, family is a feeling”

Nina and Lara are twins and raise Nina’s seven-year-old daughter Lea together. Now they want to expand their family, because Lara wants to get pregnant too.

Sister, sister, child: Nina and Lara never made a conscious decision in favor of the family concept. They rather grew into it together. When Nina was pregnant and it became clear that her biological father would not be by her side, Lara knew straight away: I’ll jump in and support! And she does so with all her heart to this day. Now Lara would like to get pregnant herself and “the twin team” – as they call themselves on Instagram – to add a “team member”. In the interview they talk to us about life as an atypical family and Lara’s desire to have children, which brings with it a number of hurdles – especially social ones.

BRIGITTE: How do you define family?
Nina: For us, family is of course mother, father, child, but just also everything that holds together, what forms a team, what is there for each other – regardless of gender or consanguinity. Family is a feeling for us.

Lara, when the biological father decided against family life, you stepped in. What role do you take on for Lea?

Lara: I’m actually there for Lea almost every day. I cook with them, I help with homework, and sometimes I pick them up from doing sports.

Nina: And you also like to take on the role of the easy-going aunt who buys the egg at the checkout.

Lara: Exactly, I’m not a second mom, but ‘Aunt Lari’, who likes to play this card.

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When it comes to upbringing, does Lara still have a say?

Nina: It actually goes hand in hand. Because the two of us enjoyed the same upbringing and I always knew that this is how I want to raise my child, there are no fundamental discussions with us.

Lara: We are 99 percent of the same opinion on parenting issues and if not, we talk to each other. But in the end, Nina has the last word and sets the rules.

So you are a well-coordinated team. But what if the dream prince comes around the corner?

Nina: We would of course be happy for each other! Nevertheless, we always remain twins, the closest reference figures for Lea and her business partners. That won’t change even after seven years. A man who gets to know me has to accept the close relationship with my sister. But we are not desperately searching. Because I am not of the opinion that you can only be happy with a man.

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Nowadays you don’t necessarily need a man by your side to fulfill your desire to have children. Lara, you have chosen artificial insemination. How did the wish come about?

Lara: We have already accompanied eleven children as standby foster parents in our lives. But mostly only for a short time. At some point the desire arose to accompany a child for longer, to see how it develops and also to bear the fruits at some point.

Nina: I think Lea’s school enrollment was the crux of the matter. To see the little person with the much too big school cone was very emotional.

Lara: Exactly! And then I thought, I want that too!

Having children as a single woman is still a taboo subject in society, despite alternative options. Why is that?

Lara: I just believe that it has been so anchored for thousands of years: It takes a mother and a father to give birth to a child. And here I am completely behind it, from a purely biological point of view. That’s why I decided to make an open donation so that the child has the right to know who his father is.

Nina: We actually get a lot of encouragement from other women on Instagram. But I was shocked that there were other comments, for example: “ I had to go through there and look for a man and I have to go through marriage today. If you want a child, that’s how it is. That’s when I hear envy that Lara dared to go a different way.

Lara: And that’s what we want to achieve, that women dare! If you are at a point in life where you are missing something to be happy and you can implement it, then you shouldn’t cut back on your needs just because society says: It takes a mother, a father and a wedding.

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Education on Instagram is very important to you. You also communicated openly from the start that Lara was pregnant and then had a miscarriage. Why is that important to you?

Lara: We don’t understand why you can only communicate it from the twelfth week. Does that mean I can’t look forward to being mom? And if I lose it, does that mean, conversely, that I mustn’t mourn the child? After we openly communicated my miscarriage on Instagram, we heard from neighbors, friends and acquaintances that they also lost a child at the time. Many do not dare to say it and deal with the trauma on their own. That’s very sad!

Book: Hashtag double life

You can find out more about the twins in their new book “Hashtag Doppelleben”.

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Still, you don’t give up after the miscarriage! How are you, Lara, now?

Lara: First I have to take a physical break. I am currently trying to get pregnant using in vitro fertilization. During the last puncture, I had severe overstimulation. I even had water in my lungs. We decided to take a little break so my body can recover. But I am not giving up!

Source used: Interview