Some women are afraid of pregnancy – and for two reasons, Jana Friedrich knows. In the interview, the midwife reveals how to fight fear.
Joy, happiness, love are feelings that connect people to the announcement of pregnancy. And fear. Only that the latter is less popular than their positive competitors. After all, the new being is still considered a small miracle that you give birth to yourself – and that you have to be happy about.
Fear of pregnancy? You are not alone
Many women feel nervous before pregnancy, changes in the body and birth. This is perfectly normal in this turbulent time – but for some women this concern is more pronounced than for others. It develops into a real fear. "It happens more often than you think," says Jana Friedrich. She has been a midwife for over 20 years now, looking after women and families in one of the most exciting times of her life.
"I once wrote an article about it on my blog and it is amazing how much it is still commented on. Women find each other again and are very happy", reveals Jana Friedrich in an interview with BRIGITTE.de. Knowing that there is a fear of pregnancy comes the relief of not being alone with her. And as is so often the case with fears – when you speak them out, broach them and make them real, they suddenly shrink to normal size. Only that the way there is not always easy, as the midwife knows. In her career, she has observed two fears in expectant mothers or even before pregnancy.
2 fears – and both have to do with change
A new life develops in your own body. What the definition of happiness means for some gives stomach ache – even with the thought of it: "A fear is that of physical changes. These women often find it very creepy that something living is growing in them", explains Jana Friedrich. The growing belly, the first movements, which other parents are eagerly waiting for, will frighten mothers-to-be in this form.
But then there is another side, a fear of the invisible changes that pregnancy brings. "Some women are afraid that their lives will change," describes the midwife another form of fear, which is more about the loss of independence: "They fear to be pressed into the mother role and the responsibility. The fact that only the woman can have the child makes the whole thing somewhat unequal is due to the physical circumstances alone, which has to stop first. "
Society is much more advanced here than it used to be, but many companies are still more generous towards women when it comes to parental leave. Jana Friedrich can understand the associated fear: "Then you were firmly in your professional life and suddenly you are sitting there and your own career is on hold and you are at home. That can be a wonderful, but also terrible idea."
How to fight pregnancy anxiety
But there is also good news: Both fears do not have to stand in the way of pregnancy. If the focus is on the fear of classic roles, sometimes a clarifying conversation helps to calm down: "It is very important to exchange ideas with the partner, what the prospects are for both and what can be done early on, so as not to slip into a role, "advises Jana Friedrich.
When it comes to physical fear, professional help is often necessary. "The negative feelings you have are real and extreme fears can become a disease", knows the midwife and advises psychological counseling. This can get to the bottom of the fear – and solve it.
Finally, there is one more thing that Jana Friedrich wants to tell mothers-to-be: "I believe that you can achieve a lot by talking to the midwife and other mothers." Because especially around the birth new fears are stoked again.
Birth is an existential experience
Therefore, positive birth reports should be the focus at the end of pregnancy. Because yes, there are women who have had beautiful births – and a lot of them. Jana Friedrich even dedicated an entire book to her stories, which appropriately bears the title "Every birth is unique". And that is exactly what she would like to convey to other women: "A birth is an existential experience – but it is only a day and it passes. You can see it as a personal challenge as if you were participating in the Olympics!" Midwife and also remembers her own births. After both, there was an incredible feeling of pride. Because women should never forget what strength they actually have:
You should trust yourself. Because one often forgets that: Birth is something natural. Women have always had children, that's normal. And it's safer now than ever!