Feminism for Men: 7 Ways to Become a Feminist Super Dad

Parental leave in Italy is not one of them.
7 ways to become a feminist super dad

Why is feminism always only written on the flag of women? The fight for gender equality shouldn’t be, well, just gender dependent. In addition, privileged people have structurally more power than those who are discriminated against. And they can use it to support the latter. And privileged in this case means: male.

Even as a man you can act feminist and achieve a lot. In one period of life, women are particularly disadvantaged – starting a family, in which even the most advanced couples quickly fall into old role models. This is hardly surprising, after all, we have mostly had this practiced for years by our own parents and grandparents. It is all the more important, however, to make a conscious decision against the old model and in favor of a new one. What’s the best way for a man to start with this? By accompanying a new generation of little feminists on their way into life as a feminist dad. This is a real opportunity, because we can actively break through old role allocations and gender clichés by setting new ones. So you can really change something here! You can find out how this works in everyday life here.

7 everyday tips for feminist dads

Take maternity leave. And not 2 months to travel to Italy.

In recent years it has somehow become trendy to finally travel during parental leave. At the same time, fathers are celebrated by others (and themselves) for actively taking parental leave – despite an important job! And even longer than three weeks, namely two months! In view of the fact that parental leave usually lasts 12 or 14 months instead of four, it quickly becomes clear that a fair division of tasks looks different. Before the birth, actively talk about who is going on parental leave. When breastfeeding, the focus is usually on the mother – but solutions can also be found here, for example going back to the job on an hourly basis after just six months – and having the partner’s back as a dad. Or you reduce both hours in the long term instead of slipping into the financial dependency that one part works part-time and one part full-time. Just because a mother is a feminist doesn’t mean she can’t take maternity leave – it just means she should have the same choices as her father. Sit down at the table and plan on an equal footing.

In other words, inclusive – completely normal.

Yes, it’s an adjustment. But we live in such turbulent times, we are constantly adjusting to new situations! Anyone who, as a father, has already changed quite normally and talks about doctors and firefighters automatically sets an example for the child in expressing themselves on an equal footing. For the little one it will later be completely normal to speak inclusively – and to think.

Pay attention to care and housework and name them.

Clearing out the dishwasher: housework. Planning the children’s birthday party in your head: care work. For parents, the list of care work suddenly grows rapidly. By talking about it more often, it becomes more real and we can also distribute it more fairly. At the same time, we can actively fight for care work to finally be taken seriously by naming it ourselves and giving it the status it deserves. Don’t be the dad who only sucks because your partner has asked you to do so multiple times. Think about it yourself.

don’t be a man

This is the title of a book by JJ Bola, which critically questions the role of men. In the role of father you can break with clichés from the start and really make a difference – as the child grows up with the fact that there are no behaviors that it has to fulfill in order to be male – but masculinity is just as individual as humanity. It starts with small things: for example, that you can cry regardless of gender and talk about feelings.

Don’t just be fun dad

That goes straight on: because as a father, you are not only responsible for pleasure, but also for duty. That means: You too can and should issue bans, enforce bedtimes and be an equal educator in all areas of life. As tempting as the “good cop, bad cop” model may be, this role is unfair for your partner.

“Well done!” in well done

You are the greatest for your child – your praise is the main prize, which it judges by. So be careful not to slip into gender stereotypes here: all too often, girls are only praised for their pretty dress, cute hairdo, and good behavior; the boys, on the other hand, are praised for their actions and bravery. Don’t discriminate who can be strong, brave and courageous for you; but also allow all children to be beautiful, good, and kind.

Knowing instead of just standing there

In addition to house and relationship work, some educational work is also popular: because if you have no idea, you often cannot be of any help. Your view of the world, your experience, but also your body: it differs from that of your partner. It is therefore helpful if you learn: how exactly does the female cycle and the various contraceptives work? What is the glass ceiling and what is the gender pay gap? How do you pump milk and what actually happens in childbirth?

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