Finances in relationships: What is fair?

Modern Money Mindset: Your Finances, Your Priority

But why is it so important to talk openly about finances and income?

Claudia’s tip: exercise financial self-determination

Financial conversations can be emotionally challenging and it takes time and patience to navigate the process. Economist and financial expert Claudia Müller from the Brigitte Academy Finance Masterclass emphasizes: “It is important to make it clear that it is about individual responsibility and financial self-determination It’s not about questioning the relationship.” With her many years of experience at the Deutsche Bundesbank, in an asset management company and finally her own “Female Finance Forum” founded in 2017, she knows exactly what is important.

Stress that arises in these conversations should be used as an opportunity to explore the roots of these problems. She explains that such insecurities often lie not in the present, but in your partner’s past. Changes can also upset a division of responsibilities that has been established for years in the relationship and raise questions about other dissatisfaction. Claudia Müller therefore makes it clear in the Finance Masterclass: Talk about your fears and worries and communicate your concerns honestly. Make it clear to each other that you have the same goal – living together harmoniously on an equal footing. And that includes Transparency and equality in common finances.

Alexandra’s tip: Build financial independence

But how do I reconcile finances and love? Alexandra Zykunov, Brigitte editor and blogger on topics such as equality and financial aspects in relationships, speaks in the Brigitte podcast “What The Finance” about a fair financial division in partnerships and especially as parents. She recommends, discuss important financial points right at the beginning of a relationship. This is extremely important, especially as a woman. Compared to men, women are statistically more affected by possible negative consequences, such as the gender pay gap or lack of income during parental leave.

Lisa’s tip: show financial initiative

For many women, the birth of a child is an opportunity to take a closer look at finances. But before the relationship begins, it is advisable to talk about your attitude to money and to plan your financial future together. “As a couple, be sure to talk about the topic of finances, get actively involved and make sure that you always keep an eye on your own finances,” says Lisa Hassenzahl in the Brigitte Academy’s Finance Masterclass. “It’s okay to learn from each other. It’s also okay for one side to know their stuff better.” Your tip: arrange a “financial data”to specifically address the topic and find out what money mindset you and your partner have.

Lisa has that three tips ready: First you should determine common costs. Make a list of expenses that you incur as a couple, be it weekly shopping or streaming service accounts. You can then ask yourself who should bear what share. Decide whether you will split the costs 50/50 or take your salaries into account as a percentage. Set an upper limit to stay fair. Finally, you can decide which account model suits you and your ideas. In the end, what’s important for Lisa Hassenzahl is: discover your individual financial strategy and actively discuss your needs and expectations. And if your partner doesn’t initiate this on their own, then show your own initiative by suggesting and organizing a regular financial date.

And now?

In this article you have read a lot about how important it is to openly discuss financial issues in a relationship. You should make sure that you address any insecurities surrounding money directly with your partner so that no doubts arise about the relationship. At the same time, it is important that you both have your financial independence preserved and important financial points discussed at an early stage. You can do this in the form of a “financial date” where you determine your individual financial strategy over a glass of wine or a cup of tea.

You will receive support in implementing these tips in the Finance Masterclass. That is a eight-week online course from the Brigitte Academy, in which women learn everything about finances – from saving to investing and of course also about money in families and relationships. The participants are not only imparted knowledge and methods, but they are also trained during the eight weeks of four renowned financial experts accompanied in implementing and applying what has been learned. Also taking part are Lisa Hassenzahl and Claudia Müller, who are available in various live sessions and small group meetings for a personal exchange in a group of like-minded women.

Bridget