Family is when children mark their territory with dirty socks and occupy the sofa to watch Netflix. And in between: Verena Carl.
When I came and saw, the conquerors were already there. Son and daughter sat enthroned between purple sofa cushions, in one hand the controller of the Playstation, in the other a pack of snacks, strategically positioned in the geographical center of the apartment between the toilet, refrigerator and charging cable station.
Cool matter of course for children
Actually, I had always thought of myself as the prototype of a casual modern mum, but at that moment a part of me surprisingly sparked in that I hadn't listened to for a long time. And so I heard myself shouting: What would you think of, spreading out in the living room? Between my books, my candlesticks, my speakers? The ten-year-old was the first to find the language again: "Doesn't Papa hear about it?"
Children spread unasked, first in us, then in our lives, that is their right. Even if they sometimes behave like cruise pots that slide meters high past St. Mark's Square, regardless of Venice. It starts very early. Just touched the first heartbeat on the ultrasound monitor? A three-kilo chunk was already chilling on my urinary bladder and not even thinking about going to the light. When I was two, my daughter always wore stained shirts. Not because she didn't have her applesauce under control, but because Papa's lap was her regular place to eat. Thai curry sometimes drips on toddlers. That was also the phase in which she constantly turned around in her sleep at night as if her feet were second hands. In the marriage bed, while we draped around her and lay motionless for hours so as not to wake her.
You are powerless against this cool matter of course, no matter how loud the popes of education can call for limits. Little people have such a good feeling for when someone is sad or needs closeness. Just not for having five minutes of rest. I think it's because of our caveman genes. The common stone age longed more for warmth, bustle and security than for a single room. Which probably didn't stop him from constantly battling himself with the rest of the clan for pole position on the bearskin.
Happy lifestyle
A friend of mine reacts cooler to the family siege, she has twice as many children as me and started it ten years earlier. And she grew up in a cozy commune. On the other hand, I had a lot of space to myself for the first 35 years of my life. As an only child in a single room, as a permanent single in a two-room apartment.
But maybe I'm just jealous. When children spread out like that, they also have something of a happy, slightly anarchic attitude towards life, which we tend to experience less frequently with increasing age. Instead of having extensive fun, we tend to thin ourselves out at the corner table. Perhaps the question of space arises especially for mothers and fathers who were once Pippi Longstocking fans but who have forgotten over the years how to sleep with their feet on the pillow.
But there is hope, ever since our daughter asked for a new, wide bed for her 13th birthday. That changed everything. Suddenly she doesn't need more space than 1.40 by two meters plus stable WLAN and feels triggered by a parent visit in her room. It's a little sad. But a place on the sofa has become free again and a controller. My son has already asked if I want to play.
Know how to protect yourself
Verena Carldiscovered during the lockdown phase that territories can also be delimited in terms of time: if teenagers are allowed to sleep until noon, the undisturbed early writing shift in the living room is ensured.
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