“Future Faking”: A dating trend of the unsightly kind

“Future Faking” dating trend
If the future plans sound too good, they probably are too

You get to know someone, it’s exciting and quickly feels familiar. You are sure: this is great love. Especially because your new flirtation will bring you the stars from the sky after a short time, make promises for the future together – and demand. But such behavior rather suggests that it is so-called future faking, a dating trend of the unsightly kind.

Future Faking – What is it?

Falling in love, moving in together, getting engaged, getting married and then having children: this structured process of a relationship is neither mandatory nor particularly topical. Most happy relationships go through certain stages over a long period of time, even without adhering to the old-fashioned model.

When it comes to future faking, try above all Narcissistic peopleto squeeze as many of these phases as possible into as short a period of time as possible. After just a few dates, he * she forges long-term plans. You will be a detailed picture of your future together painted: How you go on a trip, which house you want to buy – maybe your counterpart even makes suggestions for baby names. Yet that person knows that all the wonderful fantasies about the future are just that – fantasies.

Your new crush will then do everything to convince you of themselves and And don’t shy away from manipulation. However, as soon as the supposed love of your life feels that you have completely fallen for it, their interest in you could soon vanish into thin air.

This is how you recognize future faking

1. Love bombing

After acquaintance with emotionally unavailable people, someone finally comes along who gives you a lot of attention and affection from the start. The new contact showered you with gifts, romantic gestures and assured you that they love you – and all of that in the first few weeks. But love bombing usually ends with a very sudden withdrawal of the initially over-committed person.

2. Words and action do not match

As the term “future faking” suggests, this tactic will help you faked a wonderful future. You hear a lot of things like “You have to get to know my parents soon” or “In a month we are going to make a short trip to the Baltic Sea” up to concrete plans for the future such as building a house or family planning, which would usually be years away. Sounds too good to be true? Then it is probably that too. Your counterpart may seem eager and convincing, but even the short-term plans will work out empty promises stay.

3. Exactly the same wishes

Of course, there are times when two people who date each other have a lot in common and share the same attitudes. But a future faker manipulates you to find out what you want in life just to get him reflect all your desires and can present yourself as the perfect partner. Each of your words is analyzed and your behavior is closely monitored until suddenly he shows up and tells you that he wants exactly these things. Who would not think that they have found their soul mate?

Video tip: Six red flags that your partner is controlling you

What to do if I am affected?

The early stages of a relationship are often like a fairy tale, which is why it is normal to imagine the future together. However, this also means that it can take time to recognize future faking. But In time you will find that words are never followed by action and everything was just a castle in the air.

Future faking is usually carried out by people with narcissistic traits, whose behavior primarily serves to satisfy their own needs. If you stop believing the promises or questioning their behavior, the other person will become angry, blame you, or make you feel bad about staying. Important: Don `t blame yourself! You can not do anything about the toxic behavior of your partner. But you should distance yourself from this person. Separate yourself from what is not good for you. Focus on your needs and take your luck into your own hands. In contrast to a future faker, you can really allow yourself a wonderful future.

Sources used: psychologytoday.com, psychcentral.com, herway.net, conflict-manager.com

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