Our author always wants to please everyone. Your top priority? Everyone should be happy. Until she realizes that this mission is doomed to fail.
When others ask whether I would rather eat ice cream today or go for a walk in the park, the most important thing for me is first and foremost to do what the other person wants most. I like to adapt to that. If you are happy, so am I. First the others, then me. It's actually a very nice quality of character to make everyone happy – until you realize that that's not possible.
Mission Impossible!
Another example: my best friend chose me to plan her hen party. A short time later I found myself in a Whatsapp group with 17 other girls and 12567 different suggestions for designing the JGA. My mission: plan the perfect day, respond to all ideas and be flexible for suggestions. In short: make everyone happy! I don't have to tell you that the whole thing ended in tears, sweats and sleepless nights, because every normal person could have prophesied that to me before that.
From the burden of wanting to please
The problem with such yes-and-amen-sayers (including myself) is wanting to be liked – preferably by everyone. You don't want to be the beast who always sets the tone and possibly trespasses on others. There are simply people who are more happy when they give in and make others happy with it. Others, on the other hand, are happy to pursue their plans and are happy when the others adapt. I am one of the former. I adapt. My need for harmony is incredibly great. Basically, I am simply afraid of making mistakes and thus possibly being the trigger for arguments.
You can't be everybody's darling
Let me tell you one thing: this urge is terribly exhausting. Then in the end you really can't please everyone. I also want to be more relaxed, express my opinion and say something if something goes against the grain. I would like to try now and then to put my own satisfaction above that of others, even if it is not always easy. But that is called healthy egoism. Simply free yourself from the belief that you always "have to". No, then there are no colorful confetti cannons and matching underpants at the hen party. And it's okay if people X, Y, and Z don't like me because of that. For that I have the people A-W who think I'm great. And the thought that there have always been and will be people who don't like you – and ultimately nothing bad ever happened to you because of it, is incredibly liberating.