Not being mentally fit is something that is being talked about, blogged about and posted about more than ever. Good thing, you might think. But Heide Fuhljahn often gets angry.
“Tanja is depressed!” my friend announces emphatically. After all, her partner is depressed, grumpy, exhausted, is constantly on her cell phone, and they hardly have sex anymore. “It could be anything”I object, but she just looks defiant. After all, she knows Tanja best.
Psychologisting is trendy. Trauma, borderline, triggering, depression, autism, ADHD: These are no longer technical terms among experts, but everyday language. Everyone has a say, everyone thinks they are competent. I find that disrespectful. Because unfortunately – and I want to write this in capital letters: UNFORTUNATELY! – I know a lot more about depression than I would like. I suffered from it for decades and spent years in clinics. I also give lectures as I have written two non-fiction books on the subject. The most important result of my research: I know my limits! Imparting knowledge and experience: I can do that. But I am not an expert: I can neither diagnose nor treat diseases.
That’s why posts on social media drive me crazy. Because of course having a say is particularly pervasive online. And the staging: On TikTok, for example, there is the so-called sad girl trend, in which young women with perfectly worn make-up present sadness and despair in aesthetic images, as if it were romantic to be depressed. Or an example on Instagram: A lifestyle blogger writes that she once had a panic attack. That was bad! But hey, how good! Otherwise she wouldn’t be able to enjoy her me-time with a cinnamon roll on the couch in such a #hygge way, wink wink, while the children in blue and white striped sweaters (#werbungfürpetitbateauoderso) play at the neighbor’s house. It seems as if she is using the panic attack to coat her post with seriousness.
Depression is not for self-expression
“In general, today there is a tendency towards performative self-unleashing: let’s show the world who we are!” says Dr. Martin Altmeyer, psychologist, therapist and author of “The Unleashed Self: Attempt at a Contemporary Diagnosis” (Psychosocial Verlag). “Appearing honest and genuine, authentic, promises the best response. In an economy of attention, from which some hope not only for narcissistic but also financial gain, the confession of one’s own weakness or a mental crisis – whether true or invented – makes it all the more interesting.”
For me, Cathy Hummels took this to the extreme. The ex-player’s wife and entrepreneur posted photos from a yoga retreat in Rhodes last winter with reference to the depression she had overcome. Such a retreat from everyday life, with sun and sea, is great for your mental health. As evidence, she presented herself with other influencers doing yoga, painting, applying make-up and eating healthy foods. The logos of the paying (cosmetics) companies were clearly visible. Cathy Hummels received a shitstorm. “Depression is not a marketing tool,” wrote the German Depression League, an organization of those affected and their relatives, in a press release. “The topic is too painful to play with.” Hummels apologized emphatically. She didn’t want to trivialize anything or hurt anyone, but rather show that it can also affect celebrities.
How would I have felt if I had seen posts like Cathy Hummels’s back then? 2006 was my summer of superlatives: I wrote for a sailing magazine, Valencia, Elba, Cornwall, Toulon, Bergen, more trips than ever, better weather than ever – and yet I was more desperate and tired of life than ever. I knew I was depressed, but after my boyfriend broke up, I fell apart. I called my therapist crying from the beach, sat crying on the plane, took antidepressants and tranquilizers.
Social media can help – in the right context
Could social media have helped me? The message that even people whose lives seem wonderful can be seriously ill? Perhaps. Tips for taking a vacation, putting on makeup and working on the right mindset? Certainly not. Of course, sun and self-care make sense, as do yoga and a healthy diet – but above all for prevention. I did everything that guides wrote (maintain daily structure, reinforce positive experiences, meet friends) and still planned my suicide every day.
Social media didn’t exist in 2006, and mental illnesses were discussed less publicly than they are today. I learned that Marilyn Monroe and Winston Churchill had also suffered from depression – and I felt less alone. Still, I feared being singled out as “ready for the slap,” “not normal,” or a “low performer.” When national goalkeeper Robert Enke committed suicide in 2009, it was a turning point because it became clear that it can affect everyone, that stereotypes about “strong” and “weak” people do not correspond to reality.
Heide Fuhljahn’s books are called “Caught Cold” (Diana) and “Of Madness and Sense” (Springer). She is currently working on her third, which will be released in March.
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But it was social networks that brought solidarity around the world. I’m relieved that the stigma is decreasing, that it’s becoming more commonplace to talk about mental health – among friends, at work, on the internet. Even if it remains a balancing act, because the more people have a say, the greater the risk that what is said will be inaccurate – and not fair to those affected.
Depression can have serious consequences
“In fact, the media response over the past 25 to 30 years has contributed to the removal of taboos. Many now dare to express their suffering in front of family and friends,” says Prof. Dr. Heinz Böker. The specialist in psychiatry, psychosomatics, child and adolescent psychiatry and former chief physician at the Zurich University Hospital is a luminary when it comes to depression. “But if the topic is marketed at the level of advertising clips, that is a trivialization. Depression is a serious illness. It affects very deeply the existence, including the body of the patient, and affects all essential areas of life. And they remains a major challenge for society, which has nothing to do with wellness. When patients receive tips such as ‘Take a trip’, these are naive statements. The problem with many posts is that they contain some truth, but the trivialization is unbearable.“
The facts about the widespread disease are ultimately clear: less quality of life, money, work. In the case of severe depression, life expectancy is even significantly shortened. “One in four patients does not receive treatment in accordance with the guidelines, and in the case of severe depression the figure is even three in four,” says Dr. Iris Hauth, medical director of the St. Joseph Hospital in Berlin. “One in three patients with chronic depression is not treated. And after inpatient treatment, only eight out of 100 patients receive therapy in accordance with the guidelines.”
I am certainly grateful for celebrities who generate attention and money. Also Cathy Hummels, who organized a charity dinner for the “German Depression Aid Foundation” in 2021 and collected 90,000 euros. But I wish something different. Better, securely financed care, so no one has to call 60 therapists and then wait a year and a half for treatment. And that celebrities (and everyone else) who have little knowledge don’t pretend. It’s enough if they say that mental illnesses are to be taken seriously. No advertising message and no lifestyle!