Hello Netzwelt: It’s not possible how this modern father punishes his son

“Then you’re going to bed without watching TV tonight!” – in times of streaming and smartphones, this threat no longer shocks adolescents. Creative measures are needed, a father shows how it’s done. Also in this issue of Hello Things: tennis, fireplaces, solar generators and telescopes. From the intergalactic queue, Michael speaks up on behalf of the entire team.

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1. Solar generator under test

2. That was more top news of the week

3. The (hopefully) last update from our construction site

4. The flat joke of the week

5. A lot of effort goes into this. We look forward to a recommendation!

I am childless. Don’t worry – this isn’t the start of my memoir, nor is it a nod to the dating fencepost. I also didn’t forget anyone in need of protection at a motorway rest stop during the holiday season. I’m just imagining how I would call my spoiled brats to order.

Surely the parents among you have their own strategies. What do guidebooks recommend? Does it still exist? Or have they already been replaced by apps? How do you call your kids to order? Are you threatening to lock away your smartphone? Changing the WiFi password? No nanny in the world, I’m pretty sure, would advise the following, extremely drastic measure:

did you read that I’m with you, clearly a case for Amnesty International…

But friends of the network world, something completely different happened. I’m down from FIFA, you could say. Yes! After more than 20 years in which I spent countless hours losing with my beloved FC Köln, I finally found a substitute. Namely tennis.

Yes, another sports game. I’m so knit. As much as I’d love to fall in love with time wasters like Elden Ring, it just doesn’t work out. I buy the outrageously expensive titles again and again, but the enthusiasm often wears off after a few minutes. As a gamer, I have the attention span of a TikToker. Maybe my small animal level intellect isn’t good enough for more than “Oh, a ball. Oh, another ball. Oh, where did that ball come from all of a sudden?”. Hence tennis. Matchpoint Tennis Championships to be exact.

Gaming editor Darius can understand me, since he has been demanding for what feels like an eternity that too little attention is paid to this sport on the virtual pitch. His supplication was increased. If you feel like trying out the game, I recommend the following tips for beginners. Otherwise you are like me with my 1.FC Köln, you just lose too often.

Solar generator under test

This week, Amazon Prime Day, Black Friday’s little brother, was third cousin to Single Day, which in turn is a distant cousin of Christmas. I believe. The Jackery Solar Generator did not make it into the list of the ten top sellers. Offers like a six-month Audible membership for 17 euros attracted more attention. Probably also because the solar system we tested last weekend was too big and too expensive.

But having your own solar power plant is something. Because in times like these it can be reassuring to know that you can turn sunlight into electricity at any time. And because it’s surprisingly a lot of fun for me to watch how even huge power banks can be filled in an amazingly short time. I’m already thinking about where else I can get such a balcony power plant. The next thing on the agenda is buying a telescope. I can’t get enough of the images that the Webb telescope is now transmitting to Earth. Even if they are already 13 billion years old.

That was more top news of the week

The (hopefully) last update from our construction site

“Blinds are still Russian roulette because the KNX control file is missing. But Finale is slow,” writes Netzwelt Managing Director Sascha in our team chat. You can perhaps imagine how much fiddling it means when a nerd shack like Netzwelt moves into a new office. Our new headquarters in downtown Hamburg will be anything but nerdy. I almost want to say: It’s going to be damn comfortable!

There is a fireplace! A giant glowing fridge! Secret cupboard walls that can be opened with an RFID chip! And I think there are great details throughout the office, like the big Netzwelt “N” carved into the closet by a carpenter, which I hope you can see in the picture (above the fireplace). As of today, Hallo Netzwelt already has the new address in the signature and we all hope that the move-in can finally succeed soon.

The flat joke of the week

Friends of the network world, here comes the flat joke of the week. What does “only” mean here, we know how much you’re waiting for it. Good, or rather bad, jokes always work. I recently experienced that again at Rock am Ring.

On an evening when nothing worked in the truest sense of the word, someone in the tent shed next to us put an endless loop of Chuck Norris jokes on the Bluetooth box. The night turned out to be much longer and funnier than expected. Stay hopeful and cheerful, we’ll read each other in the ticker, but next Friday at the latest. Bye!

What stinks and rejoices?
The fart day kid!

There are even more flat jokes at this point on Netzwelt.

A lot of effort goes into this. We look forward to a recommendation!

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