On Reddit, a future mother confided in the conflict between her and her husband concerning the presence of the latter’s mother in the delivery room. Internet users, shocked by the man’s reactions, have overwhelmingly supported him.
If there is one thing that a pregnant woman must decide, it is the people who will be present with her in the labor room. A husband, a wife, a partner, a sister, a brother, a mother, a father… Whoever it is, the important thing is that this decision emanates from the woman. Unfortunately, this legitimate choice can sometimes be flouted.
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On Reddit, a mother-to-be shared a really problematic situation she finds herself in, as Magic Maman reports. Impatient to become a grandmother, her stepmother decided to impose her presence in the labor room. A wacky suggestion at first glance, which nevertheless gained credibility when it received the support of a key person: that of the husband of the mother-to-be, her son. The pregnant woman tells. “My mother-in-law has commented before about wanting to be there for the birth, and this woman is not subtle. At that time, I felt protected by the Covid protocols, but I was still clear about it. I said explicitly that every time I give birth it would be a private medical experience that would only include my husband and the medical team. I thought it was clear and there was no debate because it is my body and I am autonomous to decide who can see it in what context. “
His decision overruled
Some time later, the maternity hospital changed its protocol of sanitary rules by now allowing two accompanying persons in the delivery room. Since the young woman had given her husband her decision that she didn’t want her mother-in-law to attend her birth, this update didn’t worry her more than that. She was not, however, at the end of her troubles. “Recently my husband told me we had to have a chat, she explains. He began by saying that he had mentioned to his mother that the protocol had changed. I tried not to react, but immediately I jumped up asking him why he did this. He replied that he knew his mother “really wanted to be in the room to see the baby’s first breath.” I answered logically, “if your mother sees the first breath, she will also see me push and look at my vagina”. I had to explain to him why I refused to give life in front of his mother. Then I told her there were only two priorities in the delivery room, and it wasn’t her mother or her feelings. “
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It is important to note that the mother-to-be initially does not have a good relationship with her husband’s mother. Worse yet, she is even convinced that the latter started to really take an interest in her and be nice when she got pregnant.
A total incomprehension of the husband
A pregnant woman needs a lot of things, but there is one thing that probably matters a little more than others: the unwavering support of those close to her. After clearly explaining to her husband that she did not want her mother-in-law to attend her delivery and seeing that he decidedly did not understand her position, she burst into tears. “I told him that labor and birth would be the most vulnerable and painful experiences of my life that I needed him to protect me. I told her that anyone who refuses to protect their pregnant partner fails and will be a dead weight in the delivery room. My husband told me I was “rude” (and other negative things) and left the apartment. When he came back he was not talking to me. […] I told him that refusing to talk to me because I refused to let his mother look at my private parts wide open was very immature and that I worried that he had the emotional intelligence to support me in the delivery room. I think he understood the implication, but I didn’t say explicitly that I could refuse that he was there too. I would be devastated if I had to come to this ”, she confides.
Birth plan: express your wishes for your childbirth
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Will things have to go so badly so that her husband understands how unique this moment is and that she is THE ONLY one to decide how well it will go? Anyway, the Internet users who read his message were unanimously outraged by the behavior of the mother-in-law, but especially the husband. It has clearly crossed the line for one of them, who suggests that the mother-to-be informing motherhood that her “Mother-in-law is in no case authorized to attend the childbirth”. Others offer to show her a delivery video “So that he understands how vulnerable we are at that moment”. It will take at least that yes!
Barbara ejenguele
A journalism student, Barbara is currently doing a work-study master’s degree and writes on parenthood for the Aufeminin Maman, Parole de Mamans and Avis de Mamans websites. She is also …