Here are 12 character traits common to people who didn’t receive enough affection as children.

For many, the lack of affection during childhood can play a definitive role in an adult’s life. Indeed, for some psychologists it is clear that having had a difficult childhood can leave its mark. Individuals who have experienced an unhappy childhood will be more inclined to develop certain character traits or characteristics that can be detrimental to their social relationships, but also to themselves. But when we talk about lack of affection, we don’t just think of people who have had complicated first years of life.

Indeed, well-rounded children with parents present in childhood may also not have received enough affection to help them be knowledgeable adults. Even though we do everything we can to be caring and present parents to our children, we may not be well equipped to effectively meet their children’s basic emotional needs. Even if you had good parents or are good parents, you or your children are likely to develop some of these traits. Do not panic ! There are always ways to overcome these little flaws!

1. You need attention from others

It’s quite simple, not having your emotional needs met in your childhood, you always had this feeling of emptiness or even emotional hunger. As you become an adult, you do everything in your power to obtain it from others.

A need for attention that can only go from crazy or scandalous clothing to behaving in a dangerous manner in the most extreme cases. By getting the attention of others, it is a way to gain approval from the people around you.

2. You have a significant fear of rejection

A neglected child will usually develop fearful behavior, in part because they have never learned to manage their emotions and everything they feel. So it is quite natural that the fear of rejection will set in, especially when it is accompanied by a strong need for attention from others.

A person who is afraid of rejection will unwittingly endlessly rehearse scenarios in which they will be confronted with this type of situation, creating anxiety and stress. An anxiety which directly impacts the already fragile self-esteem of this type of person.

3. You feel invisible and avoid conflict

Some people who lack affection tend to feel invisible. Unrecognized as children, they mistakenly assume this is also the case as adults and continually ask themselves why would anyone respect me? Why would he love me? Why would I be recognized now? A feeling that results in you constantly relegating yourself to the background so that once again you make yourself invisible.

Conflict avoidance is also a characteristic found in people who have been deprived of affection. As you hate the idea of ​​being confronted, you stay away from conflicts, to the point of ignoring your own needs and desires.

4. You are extremely independent

Having had a childhood without or with little affection will have allowed one thing, that of understanding things very young in an independent manner and therefore therefore an ability to navigate life without advice from outside people.

While this is in the majority of cases a very good thing, we must be careful not to erect walls that are too high that no one will be able to climb. By behaving “too” independently, you may have difficulty establishing real connections and therefore live a solitary and isolated life.

5. Your social relationships are complicated

Instead of paying attention to the basics and noticing the genuinely caring people around you, you spend too much time thinking about what could go wrong or checking to see if people are telling the truth. You find it difficult to open up to others and form relationships.

If it is often out of fear of being hurt again, you create obstacles to the possibility of starting serious relationships, whether friendly or romantic. People emotionallyhungry » can even confuse pain with love.

6. Your social skills leave something to be desired

You are the type of person who is described as “a closed book» that no one is allowed to open and take a look inside? It’s because you simply didn’t have the opportunity to develop appropriate social skills as a child and are very clumsy in your interpersonal interactions.

A feeling of awkwardness that will result in you feeling uncomfortable around people creating a desire for isolation.

7. You dwell on negative self-talk

It’s a vicious cycle, the more you engage in negative self-talk, the fewer opportunities you will be able to benefit from, whether in your personal or professional life. A person who has lacked affection in their life will be much more affected by criticism from others, a factor that can worsen feelings of anxiety or depression.

You are simply your own harshest critic! Add to this a lack of self-esteem, you will then find any excuse to prove that you have “reason“, that you are “no value“, “stupid “Or “not good enough“.

8. You react impulsively

A child who lacks affection has great difficulty controlling his emotions and impulses. A character that we find in these people during their adult life. If you very often react impulsively or a “Nothing» can make you start, it’s a sign of emotional dysregulation.

It is important to put in place the necessary tools to properly manage your emotions as well as your impulsivity. A character trait that is quite easy to work on.

9. You are easily overwhelmed

The metaphor is well made, but a house with inadequate foundations is not going to collapse immediately, it is much the same case with an emotionally neglected child. He’s not going to crumble under pressure every time, but with time and the accumulation of responsibilities, things can get more complicated.

If we add the inability to make decisions, and to juggle a personal and professional life, people who were deprived of affection in their childhood will very easily feel overwhelmed by the situation.

10. You may suffer from dissociation

Dissociation distances people from their true feelings and needs. Taking reality and experience into account is inhibited, pushing these people to feel nothing even in the face of criticism, loss, a challenge or even pain.

Because you don’t know how to cope with your emotions, you go into automatic survival mode which can lead to more serious mental health problems.

11. You have difficulty expressing your emotions

If you didn’t grow up with some emotional support, this can lead to difficulty recognizing and expressing emotions as an adult. A difficulty not only in expressing oneself, but also in understanding the emotions of others. A situation which can be the cause of many misunderstandings and strained relationships.

You may face a lot of difficulty in showing your love and affection in return to your loved ones. In some more extreme cases, it is even possible that you are perceived as an insensitive person when that is not the case at all.

12. You have difficulty with intimacy

Growing up in an environment where affection is not the key word can make this ability to establish connections and closeness with others difficult, especially when it comes to intimate relationships. Whether it’s a lack of confidence, a fear of being vulnerable, or an inability to let people into your life, the difficulties increase.

You prefer to stay on your guard rather than form deep emotional bonds. This results in a feeling of loneliness even when you are surrounded.