The separation of long-term couples can sometimes seem surprising. However, according to a therapist, there are several reasons that would explain this not-so-rare phenomenon.
Why after several years a couple separates ? Many people must have already asked this question. The magazine Marie-France indicated that on average, a romantic relationship lasted 4.2 years for the Millennial generation – people born between 1980 and 2000. American therapist Jeff Guenther – known on TikTok as TherapyJeff – looked into the reasons why long-term couples eventually break up.
According to him, there is three main reasons for a couple to go from being in love to being separated. The first would be that over the years, both people in the couple spend less time together and also pay less attention to each other. “We also tend to have less quality time, it’s like we’re just roommates”he explained, specifying that little touches like compliments or flirting were importanteven after a few years together. “It is important not to let too much distance develop between the two partners”, he added. The reason ? It is possible that the gap will become too large to fill later.
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Other reasons for the breakup
Unresolved conflicts can also be one of the reasons pushing a long-term couple to break up. If disagreements are long-lasting and unresolved, be carefulbecause this can be a bad sign for your relationship. “The same problems keep coming back, couples can’t find solutions. This leads to resentment, contempt and emotional exhaustion”, said the therapist. Under these conditions, individuals may have the impression of no longer having the strength to resolve these conflicts which then become bogged down… A real vicious circle. The third reason is simply that the two people evolved differently in time. And there is ultimately not much to do, according to Jeff Guenther: “Sometimes your interests, beliefs, and needs evolve in directions that may become incompatible with those of your partner. It doesn’t have to be anyone’s fault. And sometimes it’s impossible to predict.” In this case, no amount of effort will fix things.