To better identify the problems in a relationship, therapists have given their advice. Certain things should be avoided to preserve happiness as a married couple.
If among your good resolutions is taking care of your life as a couple, the advice of these therapists could well interest you. The 2024 horoscope gives its predictions for this “month of new beginnings”. Experts advise singles or lovers to improve their sex life. And concerning the happiness of married people, the HuffPost takes stock of things to avoid.
The journal brought together professionals in the field to warn of certain pitfalls, starting with compare your relationship to that of others. This natural reflex can indeed be dangerous according to family and couples therapist Abigail Makepeace. This generally leads to a negative view of one’s relationship, while it is difficult to really know what is going on in a couple. We therefore grant them many qualities, without having all the concrete facts. Instead, focus on the positive aspects of your relationship, take your whole story into consideration and stop comparing, just inspire yourself!
The rest after this ad
These things to avoid to be happy as a couple
Secondly, specialists mention having a child. Research shows that marital happiness declines after the arrival of a baby, especially in the first year, and that it can take time to recover. Social worker Nicole Saunders says that many married people underestimate the impact that the arrival of a newborn will have on their relationship. She therefore recommends “commit together to carve out time to connect”. A coffee together in the morning, not looking at your phone too much, chatting before bed… It’s about finding quality time, even if short, for intimacy and sex, “taking into account the energy and time constraints that accompany parental responsibilities.”
The third thing is to expect to remain the same as at the beginning of the relationship, whether it is yourself or your partner. Therapist Lauren Bailey points out this tendency to not grant yourself the right to change, at the expense of your own happiness or that of your other half. On the contrary, we should give ourselves and our partner the space we need to “learn and grow”. A safe space in which we can confide in and listen to others.
Another important point: not taking time for regular points. Daily life takes over but this can create distance. Therapist David Narang recommends 15 to 20 minutes each evening to talk about your day and especially how it made you feel. It encourages you to ask questions to understand others. This will create a closeness which will encourage the protection of their relationship.
You shouldn’t put yourself last either. Putting the needs of others before your own can be harmful. You are not the best version of yourself and you are not bringing the best energy to your relationship. So forget it, if you thought it was beneficial for your relationship.
Blaming your spouse for your misfortune. Do your failures or disappointments come from others? You must not forget your own actions. We are all responsible for our own happiness. This gives you back this power to move towards more joy. Last thing to avoid: not asking for help or support. For a long-term relationship, Therapy, group… It can make all the difference!
Editor for Aufeminin since 2022, Charlotte is passionate about cinema, French and international, and a fortune reader. Curious about everything, she talks as much about personalities as…