His sister threw a party for her deceased son's birthday without his consent, he reacts

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After asking his family not to organize anything for the birthday of his deceased son, a father unfortunately had to deal with everyone's misunderstanding and not listening to his will. He opened up on Reddit.

The loss of a child is a tragedy beyond comprehension. When this happens, the whole world crumbles and everything that one aspired to until then is suddenly called into question. On Reddit, a grieving father opened up to netizens about his current mental state, as well as a recent event on his late son's birthday. The latter died at the age of 9. "I feel like my life has been falling apart for a while now, he begins by confessing. I had already lost my wife when she gave birth and he was all I had left of her. It was only 5 months ago that I started to go out of the house again, to see my family, to do therapy. I also recently joined a support group for bereaved parents. " A week before his fateful birthday, the first since his death, he began to have dark thoughts again.

Read also: Perinatal mourning: this illustrator breaks the silence in a comic strip

His sister called him, advising him to do something for this special day. "I told her that she was free to do something if she wanted to, but that I didn't have the heart to celebrate this day, he continues. It was going to be too much for me and I decided that I preferred to do nothing. I didn't want to see anyone and be home where I could cry all the tears in my body in private. "

A wish not respected

As D-Day arrived, this father unfortunately saw that his wish had not been fulfilled. “That day I got a call from my mom asking me to help her move some boxes. She and my dad are cleaning the attic so I thought maybe she wanted to distract me. .] Instead, I found my sister with her family, my parents, five uncles and aunts and several cousins. Pictures of my son all over the living room with candles and his favorite food.", he explains. For this grieving dad, just the fact of smelling these odors of so familiar food was lived like a torture, an insurmountable test, which made rise in him an uncontrollable anger.

"All I remember was going straight out, while my sister and mother called me. They stopped me at my car. My sister kept insisting that I go back. inside to be with them as they are all grieving. I know I shouldn't have gotten angry because they had organized something that I refused. My sister was hoping that I would change my 'notice and that I would go see the whole family ", he relates.

Testimony of the parents of Ruben, who died at 53 days

Video by Leslie Muya

He did not return, and his family has resented him for not staying ever since. “Especially my sister who wanted it to be something special to honor the memory of my son. My mother said she understood that I was in mourning, but that was no excuse to leave as I was. did and get mad at my sister like I did ", he says.

Read also: Perinatal bereavement: these phrases not to say to parents after the loss of their baby

An understandable reaction

Reddit is a community social network that allows you to ask any question and get frank and honest answers. In the case of this grieving dad, his story obviously touched more than one Internet user, since the responses he received in the comments were mostly in his direction. "They tried to force you to deal with your grief in an unhealthy way", wrote one of them. "The only person whose opinion matters when it comes to grieving a child is that of the parent. No one should tell you how to grieve. No one has the right to trap a bereaved parent in this way.". Right and true words, which, we hope, may have put balm in the heart of this bruised father.