Not that anyone needs it here! But wouldn't we all like to be "our best self" and would we exploit and develop our potential? We can – if we only have one skill.
Even if we're happy with ourselves, most people would like to be better at something: better friends, better daughters, better mothers, better at their jobs, better shaped, in a better mood, better slept late or better styled. This is not reprehensible at all, but completely normal – after all, even if we love each other or accept it, we don't just want to stand still.
The personal desire for further development and its impersonal use
Industries like the fitness industry are kindly trying to help us become "the best version of ourselves". For example, by providing us with personal trainers, demonstrating the advantages of a protein bar compared to chocolate and developing apps that tell us how many calories we should be consuming. Some employers also rely entirely on their self-optimization drive for their employees and reward when someone is particularly ambitious and perfectionist.
To put it briefly: The desire to improve and to outgrow oneself, which is in most of us somehow and is completely legitimate in itself, is fueled by various (especially economic) sides and partly exploited. Problem: Among other things, this contributes significantly to the fact that we lose sight of what is most important in order to get better out of sheer zeal and motivation – can relax!
Why doggedness makes us worse people
No matter what it is, doggedness and persistent pressure almost always lead to us underperforming: in friendships and other intimate relationships, doggedness promotes coercion or artificial behavior and stands in the way of the natural development of a deep, honest connection. In the job, the consequences of persistent pressure are often mistakes, loss of our creativity, lack of teamwork or even burnout. Regarding the area of appearance and figure: Dependencies (e.g. on certain fitness routines) and disturbed eating behavior are often the results of an overly ambitious fitness plan. We are just not doggedly ourselves and that's a very bad condition – both to grow and to do our best.
Effort yes, permanent stress no
Of course, discipline and effort are important to move forward. Temporary pressure can even be shown to improve our performance and allow us to do things that we wouldn't have been able to do under more relaxed conditions. But permanent stress does the opposite. Constant stress and doggedness destroy us and worse people (and performers) than we could be.
On the other hand, the ability to relax helps us to act prudently, to perceive the big picture and to tackle projects patiently but more sustainably – and, of course, to replenish our energy stores. Relaxed, we feel happier, are more resilient, confident, generous, understanding, less irritable, more creative, more happy and just more ourselves. So that means: If we really want to get the best out of ourselves, learning to relax should be at the top of our to-do list!