“5.5.2.2”. Behind this code name, a rhythm of alternating residence which saved the daily life of Allison and François. When they separate in Toulouse in April 2019, their daughter is not yet 2 years old. At this age, custody will revert to the mother, a friend tells them. François panics but his ex-partner reassures him: no way their child is missing his father. They work on a schedule of every other week, chosen by 80% of parents who have opted for joint custody. Very quickly, Allison and her daughter suffer from spending a whole week without seeing each other. “ We went to a family mediator who told us to do what was right for us without worrying about what was recommended to be done. And that guilt is a bad advisor ”, she says. They are looking for a more flexible organization. “ Of course, for this to work, you have to live close to each other, get along well and communicate. “, Allison specifies.
Alice, a friend who is also separated, then breathes a rhythm to them that she has imagined for her daughters of 3 and 7 years old. It is based on an alternation of small and large weeks, which allows the child to never spend more than five days without one of his parents. Themselves children of divorced people, Alice and her ex-spouse were keen to create something “ reassuring and protective “. They tested the shared residence, each taking a studio and alternately occupying the family home that has become that of the children. “It was a real money pit, and a bad idea. The girls were lost to see us sleeping in the same bed in turn. I found myself folding my ex’s underpants that he had left on the clothesline ”, she remembers. After a year and a half, they tried joint custody every other week. But the separations with the youngest are done in tears, especially since she has trouble finding her way in time. Alice then imagines a simple organization to remember: Monday and Tuesday at Papa’s; Wednesday and Thursday at Mom’s. And alternating weekends. Hence the name “5.5.2.2. On evenings when they are childless, parents can plan long work days, and sign up for an artistic or athletic activity.
While Alice is delighted with this newfound free time, she insists that her daughters’ needs come first. Thus, when the eldest entered adolescence with a “crash” during confinement, taking her little sister with a flare, she came to an agreement with her ex that they would each take one of their daughters, one evening of time. to other. This moment of exclusive complicity was beneficial for all of them.
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