Whether smartass, choleric, whimper or lazy … there are difficult guys everywhere. But instead of getting annoyed with them all the time, these tactics help in dealing with the troublemakers.
1. Don't take it personally!
"Does she think I'm stupid or what?" – Inner escalation! Because when we feel personally attacked or instructed, we are most angry and react aggressively. An attack is followed by a counterattack and suddenly something small becomes a theater of war. Unfortunately, it doesn't get anyone any further, instead it only costs energy and nerves. Therefore: it is better to keep your distance, not take what has been said personally and take a deep breath. Most of the time, our counterpart doesn't mean it as personally as it comes across.
2. The art of listening
It's really an art, especially if you think your interlocutor is an absolute a **** hole. But then it is especially important to concentrate on listening and not on what you want to say yourself next. Comments like “Yes, exactly” or “Aha, I see” are not particularly helpful either. Rather, psychologists advise statements like: "Tell me more so that I can understand it better."
3. Keep your distance
Feelings of happiness are contagious, unfortunately feelings of unhappiness too. Therefore: Get rid of everything that is not doing you good at the moment. If you are dissatisfied, unhappy, annoyed or stressed yourself, do not bring more negative feelings on board. Better: think about who or what is doing you good at the moment. That could be little things like a cup of tea or a power nap. Bad mood is made worse by the negativity of others. Suffering shared is not half suffering but double suffering. In technical jargon, this is also called negative reinforcement. * smart shit mode off
4. Don't be a dodger
Keep calm, radiate security: Escalation does not get anyone any further, but it does not make you small and swallow everything. Otherwise you will quickly end up in the role of victim, which must not happen under any circumstances. If boundaries are exceeded, this must be made clear, but calmly, and the other person must be put in his place. After all, you are the most important person to yourself and you should maintain your integrity.
5. What's the problem?
Usually there is another problem behind a little thing and that needs to be identified. So play a detective and find out what the other person really wants? This is also called the Hidden Need, i.e. the hidden need * smart shit modus off. However, once you have recognized what is behind the constant complaining, complaining and moaning, you can tackle the problem-solving. Because the only way out of the negative complaint mode is to switch to the problem-solving mode and thus get into action.
6. Mirror, mirror on the wall …
The mirror technique is incredibly effective if you don't want to get involved in a confrontation or if you are afraid of it. You just behave in a similar way to the other person. Simply imitate tone of voice, gestures, facial expressions, and vocabulary discreetly and give the conversation partner the feeling of familiarity and of being understood. What doesn't go down well: humor or a stupid joke usually has the opposite effect of relaxation.
7. Change what can be changed
What we would like to have sometimes doesn't fit at all for others, and vice versa. That in turn creates friction, power struggles and a bad mood. If feelings then come into play, things get hairy. Then the logic goes flute, the focus is lost and you fight for things that are not worth it. Then it helps to take a step back and change your perspective instead of getting lost in your emotions. Once you have agreed on an important change, small steps are often the best way to help.