How to deal with disappointments: 5 tips

Defeats, failures, disappointments – if we really engage in life, things like this will happen to us sooner or later. Because only those who accept challenges can lose. Only those who risk something and push themselves to the limit fail. And only those who trust, hope and indulge in something or someone can be disappointed. We could protect ourselves from all of this by closing ourselves off and making ourselves comfortable in our comfort zone. But then we would have to do without a lot of things that make life and us really beautiful: deep feelings, true love, freedom, real happiness, success …

We therefore propose another way of protecting ourselves against or dealing with disappointments: Allowing us to experience them (i.e. generally being optimistic, hopeful and trusting) and then positioning ourselves well – for example with the help of these thoughts.

5 thoughts to help you deal with disappointments

1. "I can't control everything – and that's a good thing"

If we could control everything and everyone, we would probably never be disappointed – because then everyone and everyone would do our best. But how tiring would it be to always have all the strings in your hand and to be responsible for other people's behavior? Horror! Above all, we would be to blame if something stupid happened … No, no, no, it already has its meaning and correctness that we cannot control most of it, and it frees us from the great burden of Responsibility. The fact that we have to accept one or the other disappointment for this is probably a fair deal.

2. "Everyone makes mistakes"

Probably no one will ever do anything to specifically disappoint you – most disappointments are caused by oversight, failure, weaknesses and mistakes. And no one is safe from that. It can happen to all of us that we disappoint others without wanting to or not realizing it. Sometimes we don't really feel sorry for it afterwards because we don't really realize it. Hence: Realistic and achievable expectations of our fellow human beings make it easier for us to get over it if they disappoint us. And trusting someone doesn't mean to expect flawlessness and perfection from them.

3. "I don't always have to understand everything"

Disappointments often result from the fact that we assessed something or someone differently beforehand than would have been correct afterwards. Because of the disappointment, we then have the feeling that we no longer understand the world and we also doubt ourselves. It is not a drama at all to be wrong or not to understand something. Nobody understands most of life anyway. Things happen, a lot is unfair and only sometimes does a light come on years later that something was good for. What good is it to quarrel with it and bite your teeth at it – if we could bite into a piece of cheesecake instead. ?

4. "Others experience things differently than I do"

It may sound stupid, but what is disappointing for you can be something positive for someone else. For example, if a friend cancels you because she wants to take some time for yourself, you will certainly be disappointed, but you may be doing extremely well and she can finally take a deep breath. We are all little egoists with a very limited perspective and different needs, who often collide with each other. Just as nobody has on the agenda to deliberately disappoint you, nobody sees it as their primary life's work to protect you from disappointments – and this is basically a compliment to you and your independence!

5. "I can get over it"

Time doesn't heal wounds, but you can heal yourself by giving yourself time. Short-circuit reactions like "from now on I don't trust anyone anymore" may quickly give us the feeling of being over a disappointment. But usually they do not heal the wound, they only numb the pain. Again, that wouldn't be necessary, because we all endure more than we think. In part, we tend to give pain more space and meaning than it deserves – either by trying to avoid it from the outset, or by suppressing it or by increasing ourselves in it. None of this is appropriate, because we can be hurt and feel pain for a while without going under. So instead of deciding not to trust other people after a person has disappointed you, you should rather choose to trust yourself and your inner strength – because then you are guaranteed to get over it. Just like last time, next time and after that …

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