If it opens the field of enjoyment to new sensations (we say it longer and more intense), the prostatic orgasm is still surrounded by taboos.
For many men, but also women, the prostate is synonymous with medical examination, cancer, adenoma, urinary disorders … It is only interested from the age of 50 for health reasons. However, this male sexual organ is the source of other kinds of orgasms. More intense, more powerful, longer, say the men who tried.
The prostate, a mysterious organ
The prostate is a male genital gland, the size of a chestnut, located under the bladder. An important detail, because contrary to popular belief, not all sexual organs are external to men and internal to women. The prostate is a male organ which is internal!
It is located directly under the bladder, "Like a reactor under an A380 wing" schematizes Patrick Papazian in his book Prostate, the mysterious organ that wishes you well. "The prostate is comfortably tucked in front of the rectal bulb and behind the pubis" he continues.
The prostate plays a role in the male reproductive system where it secretes and stores part of the seminal fluid (constituent of sperm). It also produces prostatic fluid, which has the function of promoting the survival of sperm during their progression through vaginal acidity and preventing the clotting of sperm. But the prostate also plays a role in sexual pleasure. During ejaculation, the prostate "zone" is pleasantly stimulated. Some men manage (by focusing on their bodies) to experience this "inner" pleasure in different regions.
How to stimulate the prostate?
It is for this reason that stimulating the prostate is so important: it only increases the pleasure. Very good, but how to stimulate it?
The question of prostate massage (or put a finger in the anus) is not always easy to approach. Without going to penetration, there are other ways to tickle the prostate, as revealed by Doctor Papazian and Edouard Klein in their work.
The first is to focus on the sensations and different areas stimulated during ejaculation, including the prostate. Second method: to caress with a minimum of pressure the perineum, zone located between the purses and the rod, which the authors describe as the door of the prostatic sensations. An external stimulation that would be even more pleasant when the man is erect.
Finally, last method and not least to stimulate the point P: penetration.
Point P: how to reach prostatic orgasm?
Before entering, the external massage of the perineum is essential in all cases. "As for the massage of the anus, it is done like caresses on the clitoris, by rhythmic, circular movements without hitting the mucous membrane, by pressing lightly" explains Nathalie Giraud-Desforges, sexologist and founder of the Plaisir Masculin website.
The insertion of the finger, (with short cut nails), is done once the sphincter channel is released. Otherwise it can hurt. In order to avoid any pain or irritation, it is better to use a lubricant.
Once inside, the prostate gland is at your fingertips, on the anterior wall (navel side). It is easy to spot: you can feel a small soft bump. “The massage can start with very small back and forth movements, and this, slowly. Because if you have a train to catch, better wait and postpone the session… ” writes the sexologist.
If you do not want to use your fingers, or if you are a man who prefers to practice alone, prostate massagers are a good alternative. The specialist recommends those of the Aneros brand (the only sex toys to be certified medical).
In a heterosexual couple, pegging (or pegging) can also lead to prostatic orgasm. Still very taboo, this practice involves a woman penetrating her male partner. So a higher step, for a society that still associates sodomy with gay relationships.
"Don't touch my anus": prostatic pleasure, a taboo point
Beyond pegging, anal penetration (with a sex toy or with the fingers) is still surrounded by many taboos, especially in heterosexual men. Only 22% of women have already inserted a finger in their partner's anus: an occasional practice for 9% of them, regular for 2% (figures She/ IFOP 2019). So why such reluctance? "Because" don't touch my anus ". It is the idea of a power centered on the phallus. A man who penetrates and who has a penis that can penetrate is a powerful man. A man who has a soft penis, at rest, and who lets himself be penetrated would be a helpless man ” deplores Nathalie Giraud. Among the reasons mentioned on this taboo very often comes also sexual orientation. "My friends often say that they" are not gay "to justify the fact of
don't want to try ” confides Théo 25 years old. It should therefore be remembered that penetration is not limited to women and homosexuals.
Finally, prostatic pleasure raises another fundamental subject: that of virility. Because by designating certain practices as acceptable and others as "disgusting", manly standards limit the fields of enjoyment. "This requires deconstructing a whole scheme according to which the act of penetrating or being penetrated was the link between power and impotence. " explains the sex therapist. "To explode these standards, you have to get out of a sexual identity that would be associated with sexual practices. And talk about interiority rather than passivity: to be in contact with one's power, to be an actor in what is happening in oneself ” she adds.
In his essay Get out of the hole. Raising the head, Maïa Mazaurette puts her finger on the preconceived ideas which surround the stimulation of the anus and the prostate: "If having fun with your prostate gives the impression of losing something, of losing a part of yourself, it is time to recalibrate its definition of" self "".
Prostate orgasm, the Grail of pleasure?
To lift the veil on prostatic pleasure, Nathalie Giraud-Desforges launched a dedicated exploration workshop. Among the testimonies collected, most men speak of an orgasm much more powerful and longer than usual, "dizzying", "intense", "magic" … There is something to be envied. Under the pressure of the fingers or a sex toy, the deflagrations are often internal and extend to the whole body unlike those produced by the simple manipulation of the penis. The degree of intensity of the prostate orgasm is often associated with female orgasm. It can also happen without ejaculation.
With his partner, Théo managed to explore new sensations without embarrassment or questioning of his masculinity. He tells : "It gives me intense pleasure, my legs are trembling, my voice goes into the treble, I don't really know where I am. For me there is no dominant-dominated relationship, my girlfriend and I just have fun without any judgment ".
See also: how to learn tantric sex?