Positive education, you've certainly heard of it before. But what is it exactly? How to apply it in practice at home? Here are five ways to practice it at home.
1. Zen, let's stay zen
One of the foundations of positive education is to build a climate of trust with the child, especially through good communication. For that, there is no need to yell, let alone inflict physical sanctions like slapping or spanking. In fact, how can we then teach children not to hit their peers if we ourselves are not exemplary? “The principle of positive education is based on non-violence. The child must learn to solve his problems without resorting to physical or verbal conflict. Parents and children must express what they feel in order to understand each other and reach a good solution, ”explains a manager of the Babilou nursery network.
Positive education therefore requires real self-control from parents, which is far from easy on a daily basis. That's why, when tensions rise, it's best to pass your hand to another adult or step aside for a moment to take a deep breath and come back more relaxed. In addition, in toddlers it is often best to ignore problem behaviors which are often a roundabout way of seeking attention. If there are no spectators, there is no show!
2. Non-violent communication
Very useful in company life, non-violent communication is just as much with children. The idea is to encourage the little one to express their own emotions. To do this, you must first help the child to put into words what he is feeling. We can use media like the wonderful book The color of emotions, an essential! In addition, the parent must also do work on expressing his own emotions to encourage the child to do the same. Schematically this gives: rather than saying "you are mean", prefer the formula "I am sad that you are reacting like this". It is also beneficial to institute parent-child listening times. For example, this can be materialized by setting up the internal weather forecast for the day (today I am sunny, I am happy etc.). You can also set up a talking stick to pass around at family gatherings so that everyone takes turns listening.
3. Benevolence does not exclude firmness
Who says benevolent education, does not say that everything is allowed. Positive discipline also requires the establishment of rules in the home. Moreover, a good tip is to convene family councils where the rule is validated in the community, which engages the child much more to respect it because he understands it. "If the child breaks the rule, he must understand why he should not do so. Before getting to the punishments, parents should explain the reasons for the punishment. The parent must also make understood through simple words the consequences of his acts, such as the risks or the dangers incurred. Thus, he better understands why certain things are prohibited ", analyzes the expert at Babilou.
Positive education therefore requires real consistency and consistency on the part of parents. For example, it is completely wrong to threaten a child with such and such a thing if the sanction does not apply. Likewise, specialists advise against threatening a child to turn off the light or to remove his blanket, because these are objects that make him safe. It would be totally counterproductive!
4. An environment adapted to anticipate crises
Rather than having to manage a crisis, it is better to anticipate it! " The best way to avoid crises is to anticipate. Prepare the child for an event that is about to happen, by explaining to him what is expected of him, and if he agrees to apply the rules and limits to be respected … This is the best way to avoid a temper tantrum “, Continues the specialist.
In positive education, parents are also advised not to provoke an unnecessary crisis, for example by taking a tired child to a supermarket. Likewise, it is better to adapt the environment in the presence of a little one. For example, cover the sofa with a plaid so as not to scold your child if he spills his glass of juice, or put the toothbrush within reach so that he can take action without having to ask the adult.
5. On the road to autonomy
In positive education, the development of autonomy is a central point. This is even its purpose in order to raise future responsible adults! The idea is to always secure the child by standing by his side when needed, while letting him explore on his own. " At home, during playtime, the parent does not act in the child's shoes and lets them act freely. He should not intervene to do it for the child. He accompanies him and above all observes his learning. Children indeed need to learn on their own to gain autonomy. He must find the solutions himself to be proud of his success », Concludes the specialist.
Article produced in partnership with Babilou