“I always believed that I would have the time to tell him how much I loved him”

First day

She enters the TD room dressed in a jacket, distinctive sign of sea enthusiasts. I have the same. She has short hair, a little boyish look. She wants to sit next to me in the classroom, asks me if she can do it. I answer with a failed joke that it is not possible: “I don’t like girls. “ Aude settles down anyway. The rest of the course spent side by side is not very warm. I’m in a relationship and she too, the year goes by like this, we don’t talk much to each other, but we’re never very far from each other either.

In the middle of the year, there is this giggle that makes us leave the course to calm us down. I can’t necessarily locate the moment when I start to think about her, it’s unreal, we’re both already engaged. But I like her tomboyish lifestyle, she is not in the feminine froufrou, she knows how to play on her natural charm. Towards the end of the student year, I go out with her group of friends all the time. She organizes a party to celebrate the birth of her nephew, it happens one night when I have to go to a concert with my girlfriend.

“I only remember the evening until one in the morning… She never wanted to tell me what happened during those few hours that I miss. “

I go to her house afterwards, there are about ten of us in her studio, I bought some whiskey to give me courage. I only remember the evening until one in the morning. The next image is me lying on the floor on the floor of her bedroom next to her, wearing her panties and T-shirt. I can tell that something has happened, but what? I stroke her back. She turns around and kisses me. She never wanted to tell me what happened during those few hours that I miss.

We get up, we stay quite close. I end up leaving, without talking too much about the night that has just passed. On the stairs, she catches up with me: I forgot my glasses. I tell her that, all the same, we have to talk, she doesn’t really know, she is confused, she answers me that we will see. Aude leaves to revise her exams in Brittany, does not answer my calls.

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We meet for our last day of master, we will visit the auction of Boulogne-sur-Mer. She acts as if nothing had happened in front of our comrades. At one point, she walks away to get some money from the ATM, I call out to her, gently tapping her on the buttocks: “Do you know we need to talk?” “

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