"I have had five miscarriages in two years, but I'm not giving up hope"

15% of women have the painful experience of miscarriage. However, the subject remains taboo. At 26, Laura has already experienced five miscarriages in two years. She tells us her story.

A miscarriage is a spontaneous termination of pregnancy within the first five months that manifests itself in sudden bleeding and stomach pain. Miscarriages affect nearly 15% of women and can be of two types: early or late. The most common early miscarriage occurs during the first trimester. It is usually caused by genetic abnormalities that make the embryo non-viable. Late miscarriage occurs during the second trimester, and is usually due to morphological abnormalities of the uterus. Even if it is most often not serious, a miscarriage is a trauma that can have significant psychological consequences.

Among these spontaneously stopped pregnancies, there is an even less common case known as recurrent miscarriages. Although they do not pose any greater risks for future pregnancies, these miscarriages add misunderstanding and frustration to the trauma. Following two miscarriages, in order to better understand the facts, the patient is offered a complete medical assessment in order to identify possible mechanical or genetic abnormalities. However, these examinations do not always identify the causes. This is the case with Laura, 26.

By sharing her testimony, Laura lifts the taboo around this painful experience. She also delivers a message of hope and support to other women who are going through the same ordeal.

When we talk about miscarriages, we say to ourselves, “It's just a little thing, it will be okay. You don't know him anyway. ”And yet, inside of you, there are a lot of things that change.

“My name is Laura, I am 26 years old. I have had five miscarriages in about two years. It started when I was 21. It was the first time with my fiancé, and I felt there was something. I felt different. I felt like I was pregnant, and I started to have weird discharge. I went to my gynecologist, and she said, "It's a miscarriage, and it's over." And There you go. I stayed on that and I was like, “It's okay, it's done” because I know a lot of women do it and it's kind of a step we have to go through.

I had a second miscarriage.

I got pregnant a second time. I was until the fourth month of pregnancy, and it was a very painful, very intense pregnancy, where I projected myself a lot and got involved, because I was in pain, I was afraid, I felt that something was wrong. And there I had a second miscarriage. It was absolutely terrible. But I had the will, absolutely, to become a mother.

I went back to assisted reproduction where I had two more miscarriages. And this summer, after two years of failing to get pregnant, I finally got pregnant. But I had a miscarriage again.

I am told that everything is fine.

There is no particular reason. In any case, I don't know of any particular. After many exams, I am told that I can have a child. Except that it does not come.

What was most painful was right after my second miscarriage, in fact the same month, when I started living with my step sister who got pregnant. Basically, she didn't really want a child and she had a really bad pregnancy. So going through this bereavement, the depression, living with someone who is pregnant and who is in pain, it is very hard. We all experience it differently, but most women experience it badly. And since it's a taboo subject, we don't talk about it. It is important to take into account everyone's feelings, even if you do not understand them. It's super important to be able to grieve when you have miscarriages, because it has more or less long-term repercussions.

The first victim, I would say, is yourself.

I couldn't accept seeing pregnant women, hearing babies cry or hearing pregnant women complaining. And that is not OK, because everyone experiences it differently.

And then it's the unborn baby, which we project a lot of. And often, it reflects what we have experienced, or what we pass on in spite of ourselves.

For me, having a child was a struggle, where I was like, “I have to fight. I'm going to get there. When I want something, I give myself the means. Except that when you want a child, going into a fight is a bad base.

My miscarriages have called everything into question.

All of this has taught me patience, and God knows I need to learn patience. It called into question my relationship, my will to live in question, my work in question. Everything I did in my life, all my choices, all my relationships, it called everything into question. And I decided to no longer live it as a fight, but as a path of life. When things are going well, I feed on this happiness and I say to myself: “OK, I understand why I am going through this.” There are days when things go badly and I say to myself: “This is your way of life, this is your cross, you have to carry it, and you don't know what tomorrow will be like. Maybe you'll be able to have a child, maybe not. ” My message to women who have experienced miscarriages: 'You are going to be fine. It's going to be hard, it's going to be long, but you're going to get there, and there is a gift behind it, regardless. ""

Do you want to tell your story? Do you want to lift a taboo? You can send your testimonial to [email protected].

See also: These stars who broke the silence of the miscarriage

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Video by Helena Ergisi