I learned to cope better with my hypersensitivity

Those who discover themselves to be highly sensitive face the rhetoric that circulates on the issue that it is a strength and a gift. But, if it's a gift, I told myself for years, how come these people, just like me, keep feeling so bad?

" I realized that I am hypersensitive. It was a relief to know that I am not an alien who landed on Earth without the manual, but just a more sensitive human being than others. I am well aware of the gift of being able to be amazed, of my great creativity and my ability to relate to others and to feel the tide turning, but … that does not prevent it from being very difficult to live with on a daily basis. I've learned it's a force, but frankly I just can't seem to experience it as such when I'm going on an emotional roller coaster, overreacting for nothing and having to avoid so much. people and situations so as not to be overwhelmed, which makes my life very complicated to manage and my relationships with others not easy ".

These are the kinds of testimonials I regularly receive from people who find themselves highly sensitive and confronted with the rhetoric around the issue claiming that this is a strength and a gift.

But, if it's a gift, I told myself for years, how is it that these people, just like me for that matter, we continue to feel so bad, with a nagging soul wave, a tendency to get depressed or to explode, to feel emotionally overwhelmed and to lose our means on many occasions?

Dissatisfied with the answers found: "it's hereditary, you have to learn to embrace it", "it's a character trait full of qualities and we are more human than those who are not" or "it is good to focus on the positive aspects and learn techniques to relax and avoid overly stimulating situations ”, I embarked on a quest to try to understand where the catch was in this whole story.

The first thing I found out was that the qualities commonly attributed to hypersensitive people : intuition, the ability to see beauty and to be amazed, creativity, heart-to-heart bond with others, depth, among others, are not the preserve of hypersensitive people. These are the very attributes of sensitivity. And sensitivity is unique to humans when they remain in touch with who they really are, with their essence.

So why are these qualities attributed to highly sensitive people? What about the others, the "non-hypersensitive"?

Here's the second thing I discovered: if there is something that we all share, as humans, it is the fact that we have been confronted in our lives with events that are far too strong that have overwhelmed us. These events generated wounds or traumas in us. Whether it was tragic events that happened to us (directly to us, in our family lineage or collectively) or shortcomings in our early childhood, we have all been faced with suffering too intense for us to be able to digest and integrate it into consciousness.
When it was too strong, there was a "break" or cut with our Self, our essence, in order to be able to take the shock and move forward.

To avoid suffering again like this, our autonomic nervous system (which we do not consciously control), responsible for ensuring our survival, has been able to remain disconnected, by isolating entire areas of our sensitivity, our bodily feelings, our emotional world and our memory.
Or, he was able to regulate himself in “hyper” mode (vigilance, emotivity, capture, empathy, tension, activity), over-reacting to the slightest stimuli, in order to push us to protect ourselves and avoid new injuries. Even if the current reactions are out of proportion to the context, their mission is to protect us.
The concern is that these intense reactions are resented, generate shame and are recriminated by our modern Western culture.

The third thing I discovered is that hypersensitivity is not a disease. It is the way some people's nervous systems have found to ensure their survival. But it is not pleasant to live with and especially not a gift!

Much like the disconnection of our sensitivity – which could so badly need healing – hypersensitivity finds its roots deep in trauma.

The good news is that the trauma is not what happened to us or what we missed, but the current process that we are experiencing of being cut off from ourselves. It is therefore possible to treat it and repatriate all the parts of us that have remained in exile, stuck in the past, with the means at hand and bearing all the suffering of what has been lived.

When we undertake a process of healing in order to repatriate our injured parts and to heal our traumas, the suffering aspects of hypersensitivity gradually diminish because an inner security sets in: the Self can finally take things in hand and the parts in hand. stress inside us can finally rest.
The nervous system can then relax and our natural sensitivity, which is inherently serene, curious, intuitive and connected, can manifest.
This path also applies to less sensitive or non-hypersensitive people, who, by healing their wounds, will be able to taste their true sensitive nature and reconnect with life and its power.

Sensitivity is therefore not a burden to be carried for life: it is a path that carries within it the seeds of our development as humans. So let's become actors again and learn to take care of ourselves as “we”, and the world, need it so much!