The missionary is a comfortable, pleasant sexual position, and a source of powerful orgasms. But can we be content with that? Is it “weird” to love only her, as Maïlys, 36, asks? Our sex expert and journalist Caroline Michel is happy to answer him.
When we think of “sex positions”, we often think of Kamasutra. As if sex was practiced according to a catalog of postures, each more surprising than the next. However, being aware that there are a thousand and one ways to contort ourselves during lovemaking does not mean that we have to hit the gym and test everything. Some positions remain “flagships” because they are more accessible and we have the right to privilege them. Thus, according to a survey carried out by Zava in 2016 (already), doggy style appears to be the preferred position of respondents (35.1%). Just behind, who is there? The famous missionary, yes, with 22.5%.
Missionary is an awesome position that many of us love. Why ? It is first of all a very comfortable position; no need to cartwheel and be flexible. It is also a position that puts you at ease, and above all, that makes everyone agree: during a first sexual intercourse (of a lifetime, or with a partner) we will opt for this position, because it’s a great way to get to know each other.
Finally, the missionary proposes a perfect penetration angle. The bodies fit together and it rolls.
The concern is that the missionary suffers from his simple and practical position image. It is considered a bit gnangnan and reserved for old couples who no longer know how to innovate. It is also associated with male domination: the man is above, it is he who manages.
No missionary is alike, here are small variations
I don’t agree, and I can therefore reassure Maïlys: loving the missionary is great, and loving only the missionary is far from being a problem, because the missionary is a knife position Swiss. Say the missionary has, all by himself, his own Kamasutra, and that no missionary is alike, if you look hard enough. It is possible to practice missionary in many ways, and you may already be doing it without realizing it. But here are small variants sources of pleasure, which prove at the same time how much the missionary is complete.
For example, try to lift your legs, while spreading them: the penetration becomes deeper. Ditto if you place a cushion at the level of your lower back, to bend over. Alternatively, try to cross your legs behind your partner’s back, and accompany their back and forth movements: this accentuates penetration even more and allows you to become mistress of the report. Do not hesitate, also, to contract your perineum during the “comes” (the penis enters) and the “goes” (the penis comes out) to reinforce the sensations. Conversely, you can also close the legs as much as possible, to create a tighter, more fusional penetration.
You can also revisit penetration, and frankly, there is only the missionary to try it: what if, this time, we replaced the back and forth with vaginal caresses with the penis? The walls of the vagina are sensitive, so we say yes to circular caresses.
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Why go for the complication when we have found the position that suits us?
And don’t forget that the missionary can be very soft (we look into each other’s eyes, we say sweet nothings, we take a break to enjoy being one…) like more beastly (we pull our hair, the head goes to the back, we share raw words…). So yes, we can love the missionary and only the missionary, if only for the multiple options and sensations it offers. And then, why go for the complication, the pirouette and the somersault, when we have found the position that suits us?
Often, behind this question, hides the little doggy style complex, which we don’t talk about enough : perceived as the wild position par excellence, it lets us understand that it is inseparable from an active, radiant, pleasurable sex life. Let me relax you: the missionary offers all that too, because in reality it is not our favorite position that makes our sexuality, but what we put in it, and as you can see, in the missionary, it there’s really a lot to put on.
Caroline Michel is a journalist in psycho sexo and author in particular of 89 months, Sex Thousand People (collection of illustrated micro-news), The sexual charge (First), The love of the great (Robert Laffont).
Caroline Michel is a journalist in psycho sexo and author. Passionate, she enjoys dissecting everyday life and looking for the right words (which she hopes to find often). She is the author of…