The decision to start a family is one of the most crucial for a couple. However, when it is taken too hastily or under pressure, it can lead to deep regrets and have a lasting impact on the relationship.
Having children is a deeply personal decisioninfluenced by many factors, such as aspirations, financial situation and couple dynamics. For some, it is a long-held dreama desire to transmit values and see a new generation grow up. For others, parenthood can bring fears or uncertainties related to the responsibilities and changes it imposes.
Becoming a parent is a long term commitment which requires emotional and practical preparation. It is important that both partners are in tune with this decision which can have a impact on relationship and life balance. Dialogue, mutual understanding and preparation are essential to approach this stage in a calm and fulfilling manner. It is often difficult to decide the right time to start a family, especially when one partner is ready and the other is not.
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Pushing your partner to have children
After having carried out a tumultuous university life marked by parties, spontaneous vacations and impromptu weekends with friends, this man was ready to move on to a new stage. He liked to organize everything and in his mind the logical sequence was clear: start a family without waiting. He had even presented his future wife with a series of well-thought-out arguments to justify the idea of having children immediately, explaining how it fit into his life plan.
A father of two tells how he persuaded his young wife to have children despite his doubts when he feared he would grow old before having a family. Today, although they are still happily married, he admits that This pressure affected their relationship. Looking back, he feels empathy for his wife and acknowledges the difficulties they went through together. He talks about how it affected them both. This is his story.
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He feels deep regret
Ten years later, he felt deep regret for having thrown his wife into the adventure of parenthood. Over time, he realizes that these kinds of realizations often come too late. He now wonders why he ever thought that being a father at forty would make him an “old” father. When their children started school, he discovered that Most of the other fathers were his age. Even the mothers were often older than his wife, making her one of the youngest.
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At almost fifty, he realizes he can still run, play and to fully enjoy his children. He could have waited and become a father later. The guilt of having let himself be guided by his own desires to the detriment of those of his wife, pushed him to a serious questioning. He had acted thinking that everything would go well without realizing the colossal impact of a child on a woman even when the man thinks he is 100% involved. If he had known then what he knows today, he would have taken the time to think twice.
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