Jessica and I met in 2017, at a conference somewhere in Europe. We were both passionate about Russia. For me, it went back to childhood. It’s difficult to explain: I have no Russian family, no ties there, but I always wanted to learn the language, immerse myself in the culture. I have a fascination for the Russian soul, a romantic image of this people whose literature I love. I devoted my studies to it, and so did Jessica.
Jessica loves Russia for other reasons. She is American, very committed to the left, and very critical of her country’s politics. She grew up in a fairly modest environment and I think the history of communism attracted her. We quickly established links around this country. We have in common the desire to live in Russia, without any idealization of the regime, neither of which we support.
After this conference, we stayed in touch and met during stays there. She gets a position at a prestigious Moscow university and settles there; I visit him when I am passing through the country.
In 2020, my life experienced a big turning point. In Russia, I fell in love with the man who would become my husband. I decided to leave everything to join him there, while continuing my academic career. We are moving to a small town in the Moscow region. Shortly after, Jessica asks me if she can visit us. His approach touches me. She takes the train for the weekend, and we have a great time. Contact goes well with my husband, she is funny and original. She tells us her family history. We feel that she likes us, and this feeling is mutual.
“I love Russia as it is”
At the beginning of February 2022, my partner and I are getting married. My family is not present, because of Covid-19, and it is a small party. I invited an American friend, as well as Jessica. My invitation pleases him very much. We continued to communicate over the following weeks, against a backdrop of growing tension in Russia. As the news from Ukraine becomes more and more worrying, we share our analysis of the situation by telephone. We agree on our conviction that Putin is bluffing and that the path of negotiations that Macron is following is the best way out of this crisis. We seek reassurance. My husband is convinced that we are heading straight to war. He follows a Telegram channel on which alarming information is circulating.
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