Mother of a 3-year-old daughter, a young woman spoke on the Reddit site about the relationship she has with her child. She reveals that she is “heartbroken” because, according to her, “her daughter doesn’t love her.”
From birth to the start of school, children undergo all kinds of changes depending on their stage of development. Sometimes they push you away if you ask them for hugs and kisses, and other times they want to cuddle you at the most inopportune moments. Sometimes they prefer one parent, other times they prefer the other. Sometimes they are very self-sufficient and independent, other times they are glued to you all day. In reality, children’s mood and behavior depend on what they need at the time. Which makes them, let’s say it, very unpredictable.
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A mother sadly paid the price with her daughter, reports the HuffPost US. It’s on the site Reddit that the mother shared her testimony, revealing that she had “broken heart” because she “thinks her child doesn’t love her”. “My daughter is 3 and will be 4 in a few months. I have posted a lot of messages here asking for advice about my child, I absolutely need a therapist, I am trying my best, I really am, but I “I always feel like I’m a walking disaster”, she confides.
“My daughter is mean to me”
According to this mother, “things are going bad” with his daughter. “Her sleep is horrible: she has been waking up a lot at night lately”she says, also referring to her child’s numerous tantrums. “In those moments, she is particularly mean to me. She says to me: ‘go away’, ‘this is not your house, go away’, ‘I don’t want my mother and my dad, she cites as an example. If her daughter is insolent with her father, she is much more so with her.
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“As soon as she’s upset about something, she yells at me. She also hates it when I check to see if she’s injured. For example, when she stubs her toe and says ‘ouch,’ I ask her if she’s okay. “Okay. She shouts, ‘No!’, walks away from me and goes to see her daddy.”, regrets the mother. When she wants to dress her daughter, she regularly tells her “no, I want daddy” and kicks her away. Sometimes he even asks his mother not to enter his room.
“My daughter would prefer anyone in the world except me”
“I feel like my daughter would prefer anyone in the world but me.” The situation has deteriorated so much that the young person admits to having already “broke and cried” several times and started searching on Google for information about behavioral disorders. “I’m starting to think she doesn’t love me.”she laments. “My husband gets very strict and tells her to treat her mom kindly, but she doesn’t listen!”
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“I want to stay in bed and cry all day, but of course I can’t.”she despairs. “If I try to walk alone, my child gets angry, cries and wants to come with me”she assures, specifying that the moments they spend together do not go any better. “I’m so sad. I don’t think I’m strong enough to be a parent, I’ve always been very sensitive. I feel like a failure”she concludes.
Advice from an expert
According to Rachel Melville-Thomas, child psychotherapist and spokesperson for the Association of Child Psychotherapists (ACP), “Preschoolers lead intense lives.” It is therefore “common for them to manage the world, the family and all their feelings by dividing everything into good and bad, beautiful and horrible”, she continues. This is the reason why “you may receive hurtful remarks from your child.”
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“It’s also a way of controlling a world where they don’t have much to say – so they try to exercise their independence and autonomy by expressing strong opinions. It’s important not to take this personally, because their emotions can change radically”she says. “It is also between the ages of 2 and 4 that children explore their identity and gender. They can therefore identify intensely with one or other of their parents”, adds the specialist. If this happens to you, stay calm and communicate with your child. Tell him for example: “You seem angry with me right now.” and explain to him why, even though he would love the other parent very much, he cannot help but be with you for the moment.
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Rights of women and children, violence, feminism, gender, discrimination, parenthood, education, psychology, health, couple, sexuality, social networks…. Joséphine loves deciphering all the social issues that drive our world…