I thought I really knew her until I discovered her diaries.”

This is a moving testimony delivered by Dan Fogel in HuffPost. Married for 45 years to Sue, the man watched helplessly as his wife died. “My wife of almost 45 years, my Sue, lay still, life draining from her body,” he wrote. And to continue: “His fine, gray hair fell in clumps around his head. His eyes were closed. His body was nothing more than a wisp under the covers. His breathing was shallow. Her cold toes pointed toward the ceiling and I wrapped my fingers around her heels. It was hard, as if it were just bones, and the cold was like a dampness that I couldn’t get off my hands, even though I kept wiping them on my pants, a towel, and the bed-cover.”

Shortly after his wife’s death, he discovered her diaries: “When I started reading them, I discovered that she wasn’t stoic. She had lots of painful thoughts that she had never expressed out loud.”, he revealed. In his testimony, he said people thought she could handle the pain but in reality his wife was in dire straits and could not cope with his life.

“I thought I knew her.”

Reading from his wife’s diary, Dan Fogel later explained: “I never asked him direct questions about his emotions. After 45 years, I thought I knew her. But that wasn’t the case.”, he regretted. And to add: “I learned that despite the years we spent together, Sue had kept secrets (…) We never asked each other the important question: ‘Who are you deep in your heart and soul?’”. He thus discovered the many elements of his wife’s frustration.

She had notably suffered her husband’s decisions all her life according to her confidences: “I think I hate him.”she wrote one day, referring to her husband. “If she had something to say, why didn’t she say it out loud?” he asked. Upset by Sue’s death and after discovering her diaries, Dan Fogel decided to seek therapy. So he discovered that he suffers of attention deficit/hyperactivity disorder.

Dan Fogel’s Memories with Sue

Dan Fogel then recalled memories with Sue: “A few days after his death, I released a photo of her wedding day, June 26, 1973. Sue, 29, looks like a delicate hippie goddess with her long brown hair and peasant dress. I’m 26 years old. Skinny, red, bearded, did he declare.

The man then concluded: “No wonder she was nervous. We had met 10 months before before this photo is taken”. The couple ended up staying married for 45 years!

A graduate of CELSA, I have always been passionate about journalism since my early childhood. Originally from the South of France, I left Nice, my hometown, to come live in…