No question: if you constantly struggle with yourself and let yourself be so insecure by your self-doubt that you no longer want to make a decision on your own, you make life unnecessarily difficult. The perfect person doesn't exist anyway. After all, we learn from our mistakes as well as from each other. After all, our flaws and weaknesses make us human, lovable, unique and special. Everything is completely clear and important to internalize.
But! Does self-love or self-confidence automatically mean that you don't want to change anything about yourself? I don't think so …
I certainly think it's admirable and great to hear when someone says of themselves that they are exactly how they want to be and therefore that nothing in themselves would change. But in my opinion you can also want to change because you love yourself.
Suppose I realize that certain habits or traits of mine make me unhappy in the long term and unnecessarily drain my strength. For example, the tendency to always want to please everyone or to get into my fears and worries. Then it would be clear that I would work on it and change my bad habits – to do myself a favor.
In such a case, isn't the desire to change an expression of self-love? Or is the admission that I am making myself miserable an admission of a lack of self-confidence? Here too, on this second question, I would say again: I don't think so …
After all, it is well known that a person's personality changes in the course of their life. And that with mindfulness and practice we can play a decisive role in shaping this change, too. Isn't it an important part of self-love to accept the first and use the second for yourself?
Probably the crucial question why a person wants to change is: Because she believes the way she is, isn't she okay or lovable? Or because she wants to do something good for herself?