BRIGITTE.de reader Marina Büning used to be an economist, but today she lives as an artist in Italy. How did she find her way?
“You have to be born to be an artist; you either have talent or none.” I can still hear my father’s voice as he spoke about those people he described as “crazy artists”, i.e. all those who were not successful with their art.
I wasn’t one of the chosen ones
It was clear to me: I wasn’t one of the chosen ones with great talent. What I was creating as the youngest of five children went completely unnoticed. But my mother took me to art exhibitions, and so I learned to love and appreciate art from an early age.
My mother was an elegant, bohemian woman and art was her passion. But she only lived out her creativity in cooking and tailoring. At the end of the twenties she wanted to study ceramics, but her father was against it. She had to do an agricultural apprenticeship. She found that terrible.
When planning my life, I also played it safe
I also played it safe in my life planning. I wanted to do something “proper” and studied economics. I wasn’t interested in this course in the slightest, but I went through with it and even graduated quite well. I then ended up in the tax department of an accounting firm. I admired my colleagues who were already wearing matching lipstick to their shoes at half past seven in the morning. I didn’t have that much perfectionism. I constantly violated the dress code because blazers and white blues were the order of the day – but I came in a red sweater with a blue-red tartan skirt.
I fought my way through my everyday auditing routine, assuming that I would be able to do more of what I wanted after I qualified as a tax advisor. But at the time it wasn’t clear to me what that could be.
Then it went bang
Shortly before my final exams, I decided to quit and found myself in a workshop making heads out of clay.
That was my artistic coming out. I touched the clay and was thrilled. It was the first time that I was completely present and just happy.
It quickly became clear to me: I wanted to become an artist, without knowing how or what that actually meant.
Life had a plan for me
I immediately found a potter who also sculpted, and that was what I wanted to do. I wanted to learn all the techniques from her, and she was happy that someone finally wanted to study sculpture instead of just making vases.
A few months later I had a place in a community studio and learned stone sculpting. At the same time, I started learning belly dancing and improvisational dancing – exotic in those days, so just right for me.
Marina Büning with her work “The world is fragile and so am I”
© private
After I separated from my husband because of my great Italian love, things became financially tight. From one day to the next I had to earn my living alone. Sometimes I had 6 or 7 jobs at the same time: some freelance work, teaching belly dance at a community college or organizing an art school Italy, where I taught myself in the summer. The jobs I did alongside my art allowed me to make ends meet.
I took the path my mother couldn’t take
After I decided to pursue art, my mother was worried about how I would make a living, but she still encouraged me to follow my path. I remember a conversation with her: I wanted to go to the summer academy in Salzburg, and she said there were only very well-known teachers there! I replied that only the best was good enough for me, astonished at such self-confidence.
Only later did I realize that I was living a life that my mother herself would have liked. War, five children, a generation where women didn’t just pack up and leave had prevented that. But she had always been part of the avant-garde; As a young woman, she learned expressive dance from a student of Mary Wigman, the pioneer of modern dance.
I moved to Italy in my early 40s
In my early 40s I dared to make a new start and followed my Italian husband near Rome. It took me a long time to find my way around and find opportunities to exhibit and work. But now I teach art at two US universities in Rome, in the summer I offer painting and drawing courses for Germans and support women in taking their art seriously and bringing it into the world. Of course I also make my own art and exhibit it.
My experiences show that when you open your inner doors to what you are passionate about, doors open everywhere. Life helps you and when you let something go, new perspectives open up. Sometimes it takes longer, but sometimes it happens faster than you would like. At least that’s what happened to me. My mother had come to terms with her role at my father’s side, but she was happy to see me break the shackles. She always supported me in pursuing my path.
The author: Marina Büning lives north of Rome with her husband and five cats. She helps other women to take their art seriously and professionalize it and thus lead more fulfilling lives (www.marinabuening.com and www.marinabuening-art.com).