Renee (she only gives her English name), 28 years old, salesperson in a large solar panel company, has a boyfriend. They live in Xi’an, a large city in central China, and have seen each other regularly for two years. But from there to getting married and settling down together, there is a step that she is not ready to take. When we ask her if she would consider having a child, she says yes without hesitation. But not necessarily in the most traditional way: “Men, you really can’t trust them. I tell myself that maybe being a single mother is the solutionshe explains in a downtown café. It’s a subject that we discuss with my friends: in China, in general, men consider that their role stops at bringing money into the home. Since they work hard, they don’t do anything at home. I think there are a lot of benefits to being married for a man, but for a woman, it means taking care of a child…and a husband! »she asserts.
A few years ago, being a single mother was almost unthinkable in China, but society is changing quickly. On social networks, several women share their experience: Ye Haiyang, one of the most popular, has more than 7 million subscribers on Douyin, the Chinese version of TikTok. She recounts a trying journey.
Because raising a child is exhausting, especially alone, but also because the country doesn’t make things easy, with conservative legislation. In China, benefiting from in vitro fertilization (IVF) or artificial insemination is reserved for married women. Same thing for access to sperm banks. Chinese “single mothers” must therefore spend weeks or even months abroad to access these procedures, further increasing the cost of their plans to have a child.
End of the one-child policy
This is the path followed by Li Xueke, 34 years old, a tall, slender and perfectly dressed woman, at the head of several modeling schools and a jewelry brand. In 2018, she went to Thailand to perform IVF, the success of which exceeded her expectations: she gave birth to triplets nine months later! Very active on social networks (1.4 million subscribers on Douyin) in particular to promote her brand, Li Xueke also promotes her life as a single mother. For her, the decision was obvious at the time: “I had set myself the goal of getting married and having children by 30, but I didn’t find the right person, so I had children on my own. I can live without being married, but not without having children”, she explains on the phone.
You have 65% of this article left to read. The rest is reserved for subscribers.