Intimacy changes
A fulfilling sex life can also be successful in old age
As you get older, your sex life changes – but that doesn’t have to mean the end of intimacy.
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Less strength, more rapid fatigue, erection problems: as you get older, sex can become a challenge – but it doesn’t have to be.
Ideas about what constitutes good sex change over the course of life – and with them the challenges that come with meeting your own demands and those of your partner. Especially for people over the age of 50, who are often referred to as “best agers”, their love lives are often not very “great”. But current surveys provide an exciting insight into what really matters to the 50+ generation when it comes to sex – and what can help solve the problems that often arise from physical changes.
Erectile dysfunction: the over-50 bugbear
So explained in According to a survey by Perspectus Global commissioned by Eroxon, an erectile dysfunction (ED) gel, 45 percent of respondents said they had less sex as they got older. 13 percent of those surveyed said they were less easily aroused, 10 percent had a lower libido than before and 9 percent suffered from physical limitations. Numerous studies, for example the large-scale one, show that erection problems increase from the mid-50s onwards and affect almost one in three men from the mid-60s onwards Study on health and sexuality in GermanyGeSiD for short.
And that undoubtedly has an impact on intimate life and relationships: in the survey, 41 percent of those surveyed classified ED as “stressful,” and for seven percent it would even be a reason for separation. Almost half (45 percent) said the disorder had a “severely stressful” effect on the self-esteem of those affected.
Tips for sexual wellness at any age
However, these mostly physical, often psychological challenges do not mean the end of sex life for people over 50. On the contrary: the frequency of sex can be higher for a 60-year-old who is newly in love than for a 35-year-old who has been in a committed relationship for 12 years,” explains Prof. Dr. med. Michael Zitzmann from Münster University Hospital: “It doesn’t depend so much on age as on the duration of the relationship,” says Zitzmann, who specializes in andrology and sexual medicine, among other things.
Anyone who learns to deal properly with their changing body can experience completely new experiences – adapted to the correspondingly changing needs. And that is extremely important: Sexual well-being is closely linked to general physical and mental health. These tips can help:
Talk to your partner
Many people find it difficult to talk openly about sex with their partner – and according to the Eroxon survey, this inhibition actually increases with age. Accordingly, only 69 percent of those surveyed over 60 years of age are able to talk about sexual problems, while among the youngest (18 to 29 years of age) the figure is at least 74 percent. But especially as needs and concerns change with age, open and sensitive communication becomes more important.
New needs and talking about them can lead to whole new opportunities. Men in particular (53 percent of respondents compared to 46 percent of women) want more intimacy during sex. The number of men who consider penetration to be important or very important also decreases significantly with age – from 47.3 percent among 30 to 44 year olds to 28 percent among those over 60. Both pieces of information that might surprise some partners in an open conversation.
Create new routines
It never hurts to try something new. It may help to change the time of day you have sex. After all, hormone levels fluctuate throughout the day in both men and women. Most men’s testosterone levels are higher in the morning than at the end of a long day. A good sex life in old age can also include taking more time for lovemaking. It may take longer to become aroused. This also corresponds to the survey results: While the intense orgasm as the climax of the sexual encounter is becoming less and less important (over 40 percent among younger people, 26 percent among older people), factors such as tenderness (from 53 to 66 percent) or long lovemaking ( from 23 to 27 percent) in importance.
Consult a doctor
If you have persistent physical limitations, it is still advisable to see a doctor. On the one hand, ED can be a sign of an underlying problem, such as heart disease, which should be examined. Erection problems can also be treated with tablets or gels or mechanical aids.
Holistic health helps with your sex life
Not only does a fulfilling sex life influence our general health, there is also a connection the other way around. Not only, but especially in old age, it is important to take care of yourself and live as healthily as possible. These include a healthy diet, regular exercise, low alcohol consumption, no cigarettes and adequate fluid intake. Sufficient sleep, a balanced social life, hobbies and regular doctor visits can also contribute to better health and therefore a more beautiful (intimate) life.