Is there an ideal relationship duration before having a baby?

I’arrival of a baby entails a whole series of upheavals in the life of the couple concerned. If you are never really ready to become a parent, you still have to prepare a tiny bit before conceiving a child. In this sense, it is believed that the couple must be solid to resist the changes caused and not to tear at the birth of the newborn. But after how long of a relationship is it considered stable enough? Is there an ideal relationship length before having a baby?

First of all, it is necessary to specify what is meant by “ideal”. A duration of relationship is said to be “ideal” in the event that parenthood has the most positive impact possible on the durability of the coupleI’agreement of both parents and thebalance of the future child.

On this subject, psychologists are rather unanimous: this “ideal duration” of relationship does not exist ; each couple follows its own rhythm. In reality, we should rather speak of “good time” ; kind of synchronization perfect betweenwant to have a childTHE “feeling of being enough maturethere certainty of corresponding to certain social and material norms”*and thebiological clock.

People still prefer to wait a certain length of relationship before having a baby, study finds

However, the point of view of individuals is much less flexible than that of psychologists. In their eyes, it is imperative to be in a relationship for a certain time before claiming to be able to welcome a child. In a survey conducted by YouGov America**, the respondents thus declared that it was preferable towait between 1 and 2 years of relationship (11%), and/or between 2 and 3 years of romance (11%) to start conceiving a baby.

Having a baby after 2 years of relationship therefore seems to be a satisfactory option for them… And the statistics** prove it! In fact, many of them have passed the milestone of parenthood after 2 years of life as a couple, or even more: 11% became parents after 2-3 years of relationshipAnd 12% after 3-4 years.

But then, for what reasons? Some people say they wait a bit because they want to enjoy together, as a couple, before integrating a third individual into the home. Other individuals feel the need to build their own identityto be well anchored and to know who they are really before making another person their priority. Finally, as mentioned previously, some partners want be strong mentally as well as materially speaking in order to welcome baby in the best conditions: according to them, this solidity would only be achieved after a few years of shared love.

Couple and baby: a question of marriage, more than of duration

However, the survey conducted by YouGov America highlights a another pivotal step to check before considering conceiving a baby. Indeed, according to respondents, it would be appropriate to talk about marriage rather than years of relationship! They are 20% to think that the most important element before welcoming a child is the fact of being married. The figures show, moreover, that it is indeed a key element in the sustainability of the post-parental relationship. According to another study conducted in 2012 by the National Center for Health Statisticsrelayed by our counterparts in Women’s Healthcouples who became parents before marriage are less likely to end up together than those who welcomed a child after saying yes.

be a good parent does not necessarily depend on the duration of the relationship with your partner. Regardless of the opinion of society, your peers or interviewees, psychologists are clear: it’s up to you to find your “right moment”!

Open-minded and in love with life, Emilie likes to decipher the new phenomena that shape society and relationships today. Her passion for the human being motivates her to write…