Sometimes, your partner’s friendship with someone else can cause jealousy. A feeling that often comes from one’s own insecurities, as psychologist Line Mourey explains in “Elle”.
When jealousy is inspired by a friendship perceived as too strong, it’s a whole relationship that can be tarnished. Last February, Nathalie Marquay, widow of journalist and presenter Jean-Pierre Pernaut, admitted to her husband’s former colleague Dominique Lagrou-Sempère that she was worried about the nature of their relationship. “At the beginning, I asked myself questions, you know? Eventually, he showed me so much love for you, that I said to him: ‘You talk to me a lot about Dominique, but I don’t know her!’ Then after we had words and I understood, she’s great”she said on the journalist’s YouTube channel. An open-hearted dialoguet which can be a solution when you feel jealousy, as psychologist Line Mourey explains to the magazine She.
Responding to two women who admitted to having been jealous of their partners’ friend, the expert first specifies that the feeling of being left out is legitimateas long as you don’t make it an obsession. “It can touch on our own insecurities: I don’t have confidence in myself, I’ve already experienced betrayals… […] We may have suffered before and not want a pattern to repeat itself. We could develop hypervigilance, even if it means being extreme“, explains Line Mouret. According to the psychologist, this friendship can also bring to light “a part of our partner’s personality that we appreciate less” ; or again, jealousy may simply be a symptom of a “dysfunction in the couple”.
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Jealousy, a feeling of threat often fantasized about
But if “the feeling of threat is fantasized” in most cases, “it may happen that our partner has befriended a toxic person“, who could not stand her romantic relationship and would therefore indulge in fits of jealousy herself. And if jealousy is not habitual, but it arises because of a particular relationship, “you need to talk about this relationship with your partner”. The psychologist advises “make an appointment with the other to talk because we will manifest emotions that are not necessarily pleasant to receive”. Then, to work on yourself if the problem comes from your insecurities, or to set limits with your partner, “Above all [si le couple] is under construction. On the other hand, “if the partner turns away, it’s not a good sign. He has the right not to share or not understand these fears but not to invalidate the insecurity of the other“. In any case, talking about it with your other half or with the person concerned can help to defuse the situation and to have a peaceful relationship.
Journalist
Passionate about writing, Floréane is interested in a wide variety of subjects. When she is not writing about current affairs, the environment or gender issues, she takes refuge under a blanket…