Jill Biden confided in an interview with Harper’s Bazaar last June. The first lady had evoked a practice of which she is a follower when she argues with her husband. But what is it? Closer tells you more.
In 1975, Jill Biden crossed paths with a man who would change her life. Forty-five years later, she is married to Joe Biden, the president of the United States. Like all couples, they sometimes argue but it’s much more complicated for them since they are public figures. In addition, Jill and Joe Biden are constantly surrounded in the White House and Settling scores in front of Secret Service agents is not something they want to do. In the columns of Harper’s Bazaar last June, Jill Biden had confided in her relationship and she had mentioned a technique she uses to communicate with her husband discreetly. It’s called the “fexting“, which is a mixture of “fight” and “texting”. It is an English word which designates the fact of yelling at each other by SMS. A practice which allows the presidential couple to settle their accounts without nobody knows what’s really going on.”My clients say that texting gives them the ability to maintain a certain level of connection, while having the space to express themselves without restraint“, explained Cindy Shu, therapist specializing in marital and family problems in the columns of Slate. Many couples lambdas who use it and it seems that it is also used for public figures.
The fexting technique can have many benefits, as Slate points out. Indeed, this one allows first of all to “verbalize emotions“but also to reflect on the”best way to say things and the possibility of taking the time necessary for that“, can we first read. According to the words of Lia Huynh, also a marriage and family therapist, thinking about what we are going to say helps to “calm down before answering“and thus, avoid further tension.”I often advise my clients to wait before responding to a vindictive text sent by their partner. To go for a walk, take a deep breath, then respond,” she continued before adding: “You don’t have that luxury when you’re in front of the person“. According to experts, it is mainly couples with children who practice “fexting” since their objective is to avoid having to worry about themselves in front of them. An interesting technique that can also be used to settle conflicts with their offspring when it comes to settling certain conflicts. “A text chat allows the teen to keep face and feel less emotionally exposed“, explains Lia Huynh. Fexting would therefore allow you to avoid expressing yourself in a hurtful way and to think carefully about what you want to say to the person in front of you.
Fexting and its negative aspects
Jill Biden and her husband use this technique because they do not want to solve their problems in public. As President of the United States, Joe Biden’s daily life is scrutinized in every detail and his private life is exposed in the press. However, if the fexting seems to work for the presidential couple, Slate assures that it can have many side effects. One of them is the fact that these messages can backfire on the person who sent them. “Couples often tend to pull out their smartphones to prove the other wrong, and thus take advantage in an argument., assures analyst Judith Aronowitz. In addition, settling accounts by messages can also cause “communication problems“, says Shana Trimble, therapist for couples and families who then specifies: “One partner’s avoidance of the other’s text messages can also exacerbate what started out as just an argument.”. If fexting can be harmful for some couples, it seems that this is not the case for Jill and Joe Biden since they are still in love and accomplices after all these years.