Lent is a time to break unhealthy and harmful habits. Why I still advocate that we are less hard on ourselves during this time.
Our age is characterized by self-optimization. The diet can definitely be a bit healthier, or as they like to say: cleaner, we can make the workout routine even more efficient, and actually we should limit screen time even more. Basically, it is not wrong to want to live a healthy life and to make sure that we do something good for our body and mind. The problem is that this effect can quickly be reversed if we get too dogged about it.
Lent: Avoid alcohol, sugar or social media
And this is where Lent comes in. Fasting as a spiritual practice can be found in many traditions. The variant of Lent between Ash Wednesday and Easter comes from Christianity. From a religious point of view, it was or is about getting closer to God through 40 days of fasting (not counting Sundays). Believers restrict themselves, above all, in food and luxury foods, meat, alcohol and sweets should be avoided. In the past, people only ate one meal a day – a kind of forerunner of the intermittent fasting that is so popular today.
This tradition has made its way into our present day of plenty. Many people, including non-Christians, take Lent as an opportunity to rethink their consumption and lifestyle. This can include a variety of things: some avoid certain foods that they (they think) overeat—sugar, meat, fish, junk food—some don’t drink coffee or alcohol, or try a cigarette break. However, some transfer the idea of fasting to other habits, such as not whining so much or being less active on social media. Shopping less or not at all is also a form of fasting for many.
Are the “healthy routines” really the healthiest thing for us right now?
And yes: At first glance, all these resolutions sound good. Also, what’s wrong with breaking unhealthy or harmful habits? But it can actually be – especially if we are already very disciplined and hard on ourselves, this additional phase of relinquishment can only exert further psychological pressure. Because yes: too much sugar or hours of scrolling through Instagram is definitely not healthy. And we certainly don’t have to buy eight new fast fashion pieces every month.
But often such habits are protective mechanisms, we distract ourselves with them, for example because we do not want to feel certain emotions or cannot process them – keyword emotional eating. And with tough discipline, we certainly won’t solve the problem at the root.
#thatgirl + Co: doing without as a self-optimization strategy
Social media trends like #thatgirl reinforce this trend. Young, slim and beautiful women post their healthy diet, exercise and skincare routines, suggesting that if we’re always productive and live a little healthier and more effectively, we’ll definitely be happier and, more importantly, more successful.
However, we quickly run the risk of optimizing ourselves to the point of failure. First of all, for most people who have to balance a full-time job, housework, maybe children or pets and a social life, this level of healthy eating, daily exercise and a one-hour skin care routine is simply not feasible integrate into everyday life. And even if we manage to do that, we usually have to realize quite quickly that other factors also play a role in whether our life looks like a perfectly lit Insta-Reel from one day to the next. Genetics and money, to name just two.
How realistic is our ideal image?
Self-optimization has almost become a kind of religion today, so fasting comes full circle here. But can this perfected lifestyle deliver on the promise of healing it makes in the beautiful pastel world of Instagram? Unfortunately, most of the time in this world we feel like we’re not good enough. We can hardly live up to the #thatgirl ideal, so we think the only solution is: exactly, optimize even more, develop even more “routines” so that we function even better. We totally wreck ourselves when we eat that candy bar in a stressful moment or when we don’t have enough energy for the fifth workout of the week after a stressful day.
What we often forget is that health is holistic. We can eat as clean as we want, but if we’re under constant stress, we still won’t feel fit as a fiddle. So what harms me more in a moment like this? Enjoying a piece of chocolate and yes, consuming unnecessary sugar, or beating myself up just because I’m doing it?
A plea for self-compassion instead of harshness
Instead, how about using Lent to avoid excessive demands and unnecessary pressure? Instead of always trying to improve ourselves, we could reflect on why we find it so difficult to accept ourselves as we are. That doesn’t mean that we should give up all self-control and have two bags of chips with our bottle of wine every night before we go to bed at 3 a.m. But we can incorporate healthy habits into our lives more sustainably if we approach them slowly and organically. Complete abstinence from all “unhealthy” foods and a daily fitness regimen from one day to the next is not the right way to lead a healthier life for most people.
Instead, it would be good for many of us, and I am definitely one of them, to let five go. It’s better to listen to what we really need when we’re not feeling well. Because these are rarely hardship and pressure, but much more often a healthy portion of self-love – and above all self-compassion.