Mental load
Less stress in everyday family life thanks to the 1-1-1 method
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One appointment chases the next, the to-do list is getting longer and longer: Welcome to the normal, stressful everyday life of many parents. Usually there are so many more tasks to do than there are hours in the day. But what can you do when the stress gets out of hand and a break becomes more and more urgent?
Mom: Head of Care Work
Being a mom is a mammoth job. Many mothers lose themselves in the constant organization of everyday family life – fluctuate between (emotional) exhaustion, feelings of happiness and a guilty conscience. But how do you get out of the hamster wheel of care work? Not that easy at all. Especially because the many invisible tasks that are floating around in a mother’s head are not really seen by many partners: Thoughts about gifts to buy, arranging doctor’s appointments for the family or the daily lunch boxes take up a lot of space – and the list can be continued indefinitely. The so-called mental load still predominantly affects mothers, but also more and more fathers who advocate equal parenting.
What are the stress triggers?
In a quiet moment, try to identify your actual sources of stress. Little by little you can then find out which things, tasks and people trigger the stress. Ask yourself who your energy robbers are. You will find that just asking these questions and dealing with the origins of your stress changes something. Because that way you can usually define the sources of stress more clearly – and maybe even eliminate some of them?
You can now transfer your thoughts to everyday family life: How are the processes with the children? Who takes on which tasks? And how many? Where is it possible to redistribute tasks? Is it possible? It is by no means about the bare optimization of everyday life and its routines, but simply about exploring possible stress factors – and how you can minimize them.
More relaxation through the 1-1-1 method
Sure, there is no one way that stress can go away. But the 1-1-1 method, for example, can help you see more clearly and prioritize more according to your own needs. And ideally, your stress level will then also decrease. How it works?
In the day you have already planned, suddenly there are more to-dos that need to be done? Or is there a sudden problem that needs to be solved? Take a moment and ask yourself the following questions: Does the problem or task still matter in a week or so? Or in a month? Or even in a year? These questions will quickly make it clear to you what is really important at this moment and what stress you can do without for the time being. Sometimes situations solve on their own or you notice with a little distance that you have put too much pressure and stress on yourself for nothing.
This method helps you to set your own priorities and limits better – and also to integrate your own needs a little more into the thought process. It shows you that the world won’t end if everything isn’t perfectly organized. Exactly how helpful it is may differ slightly from person to person, but in any case it tempts you to briefly reconsider well-established processes and maybe even change them – away from so much having to do with stress-free moments.
Sources used: psychologie-heute.de: Invisible Tasks & The Captains of Families, focus.de