“Let’s talk about sex, Habibi” – love, sex and tenderness in North Africa: A book enlightens – culture

The book begins with safer sex. With the author’s personal experiences when buying condoms, for example in Tunis, in Cairo or in Oran in western Algeria. You have to know that pharmacies in North Africa are often run by devout Muslims.

Not necessarily a place where people like to buy condoms.

“Walking in there and asking for condoms can be very awkward. But also surprisingly funny and often different than you would expect,” says journalist Mohamed Amjahid.

Mohammed Amjahid


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Legend:

Mohammed Amjahid

Mohamed Amjahid is an author and journalist. He was born in Frankfurt am Main in 1988 as the son of so-called guest workers. He went to school in Morocco until he graduated from high school.

He studied political science in Berlin and Cairo and did research on various anthropological projects in North Africa. His book “Let’s Talk About Sex, Habibi” was published by Piper Verlag in autumn 2022.

The various anecdotes about buying condoms show that if one pharmacist punishes you with a judgmental look and inquisitorial questions, the next pharmacist turns out to be an enthusiastic condom seller who wants to sell you the right lubricant right away.

«Sex in North Africa is a complex topic»

This variety of experiences is exemplary for the book “Let’s Talk About Sex, Habibi – Love and Desire from Casablanca to Cairo”. And they reconcile you with the almost overbearing subtitle. After all, there are almost 4000 kilometers between Casablanca and Cairo.

“Sex in North Africa is such a complex subject that a comprehensive review would be something like a poorly faked orgasm,” the author writes in his book. Mohamed Amjahid spent a large part of his childhood and youth in Morocco. Here he found that there is little knowledge about the region in Europe, and that there is much more prejudice and projection.

Sex positivity meets prudery

His book reads like a one-off reality check. It is a collection of personal experiences, portraits and reports. “A kind of panorama that doesn’t make much sense overall,” says Amjahid. Because everything exists side by side: “Sexpositivity and permissiveness, body hostility and oppression.”

That’s the fascinating thing about the book. It gives a deep insight. You get this permissiveness (keyword: orgies at the foot of the Atlas) and the savoir-vivre of supposedly closed and conservative societies served unvarnished. Likewise feminist and queer liberation struggles. And quite a bit of situational comedy…just sex.

Ruthlessly honest instead of clichéd

At the same time, the book is dark and frightening at times. For example, when it comes to violence, social pressure and patriarchy. “I didn’t want to embellish or romanticize. Everything should be on the table. But without culturalizing clichés,” says Amjahid.

As an example, he cites the Egyptian regime’s notorious anti-queer attitude. “In the worst case, homosexual people pay for it with their lives. In the West, people quickly say it’s because of ‘Islam’. This statement is extremely shortened, especially since the Egyptian military regime sees itself as absolutely secular.”

The book is full of such aha moments.

Transgender medicine from Casablanca

Very few are also likely to know that important foundations for transgender medicine were laid in Casablanca at the end of the 1970s.

A Paris court convicted surgeon and gynecologist Georges Burou of performing abortions and performing hormone therapy and sex reassignment surgeries on trans people. He then fled to Casablanca. There he found the freedom he needed to continue working and researching in the field.

First fight, then anal sex

Some stories in Amjahid’s book are disturbing. For example, a scene in a playground in Morocco: Two boys fight, one of them shouts: “If you lose, I can fuck you.” That is meant literally. Anal sex as a punishment for the loser, as a reward for the winner. In the scene described, the boys then agree that the punishment will be turned into a blowjob.

Nevertheless: with respect to anal sex and blowjobs, the reader is somewhat irritated. Also because the author refrains from any comment or classification. «The scene speaks for itself. Representing the force is strong enough.”

Mohamed Amjahid looks into the camera.

Legend:

“I didn’t want to embellish or romanticize. Everything should be on the table,” says Mohamed Amjahid about his book.

Mohammed Amjahid

This leaves you a bit perplexed at times. Is this just a story that could happen anywhere in the world? Is she typical of this school? Typical for the region?

Sex tourism – but no one is looking

The book “Let’s Talk About Sex, Habibi” touches on the wide field of love and sexuality: from feminism to toxic masculinity. There is one chapter on the latter that is particularly hard to digest.

It’s about pedo-criminal sex tourism in cities like Agadir, Marrakech or Sharm El-Sheikh. “Men from the Gulf States, but above all from Europe, from Germany, Switzerland or Great Britain, go there and abuse minors.”

It is a story of violence that takes place every day. “Everyone knows it and nobody does anything about it. Neither the governments in Europe, nor the governments on the ground,” says Amjahid.

Since the 2004 tsunami in Southeast Asia, pedo-criminal sex tourism in North Africa has increased: “When it was no longer possible to fly to Thailand for months, pedophiles realized that there is everything in North Africa and that it is even closer.”

Themes between pleasure and pain

According to Amjahid, the topic of sex tourism triggered a lot of reactions in Germany: “Many are used to the problematization of sexuality among North Africans. When someone then poses a problem about the sexuality of Europeans, they are outraged. But sexualised violence is sexualised violence.”

In his book, Mohamed Amjahid puts his finger where it hurts. But also to where it is fun. He makes it clear that love, desire and sex are always full of contradictions, conflicts and deep happiness. And in between are all the people who just like to have sex.

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