Let the anger out or eat into yourself? Everyone deals with frustration differently. Martina Pahr gives various tips in the interview.
“The greater the frustration caused by the external circumstances over which we have no influence – as is the case in the current situation – the harder the small frustrations of everyday life hit us,” says Martina Pahr, author of “Come down and stand over it” (Riva Verlag). What is important then? To react “constructively”, because mostly “we think it’s a really good idea to dig deeper into the dirt if we fall down,” explains the expert. In an interview with the news agency spot on news, she put together her favorite anti-frustration tips.
1. Accept frustration
“The very first and most important thing is to accept when you have fallen into a frustration trap. This feeling is just as valid as any other, and it does not help if we try to condemn, suppress, deny or contribute to it Throw in distraction. Then it will lever its way back into our lives with double force at another, unexpected place. And it becomes really destructive when you reproach yourself for being frustrated. At first you are allowed feel sorry for yourself and regret: The feeling is there, has its justification and will go again. On this basis you can build up and try out fresh ways to deal with it, individually adapted to the situation and form of the day. “
2. Activate the cuddle hormone
“In a typical stressful situation, the hormones adrenaline and noradrenaline are released, which make us run away or fight. Later, the hormone cortisol is used as a specific ‘troubleshooter’ and thus lowers the stress level in the brain. Works great when we are well positioned in terms of stress – if not, we are permanently overwhelmed by these hormones and easy victims for frustration. The stress system can be better adjusted in the long term with yoga, meditation or autogenic training. If needed, it can also be inhibited by releasing the cuddle hormone oxytocin and the Literally cuddling frustration from the body: very efficient with good sex, but if necessary also with a loving hug or petting pets. “
3. The balance brake
“This is a tried and tested frustration hack that is known in the most varied of worldviews, schools of wisdom and knowledge complexes. Its success is understandable, because it impresses with its simple elegance: You have access to it everywhere, you don’t need any accessories and just a little bit of practice Simply wait a short moment before reacting spontaneously to a trigger of frustration. Whether you count to ten, breathe deeply into your diaphragm or think about dinner: With this moment you create a safety buffer between the feeling and yourself: You have identified it but no longer reflexively with him. The best prerequisite for deciding whether you want to give up your frustration – or rather try something better. “
4. Change energy levels
“Frustration draws us to a low energy level – to where disappointment, awareness of deficiency and toothache are at home. At a higher energy level, where fond memories, good smells and moments of well-being live, frustration cannot persist. So quickly up a few levels What helps most effectively is very individual: For one, it’s a conversation with a loved one, for the other, dancing to your favorite music, some react to humor, others to memories of successes, vacations or laughing babies – once you know , which reliably and quickly increases the energy, you can carry this knowledge at any time like a weapon against attacks of frustration in your belt. You have to pull it at the moment X though … “
5. The day training
“Every frustration one step into can also be used as a training session, and we have the choice of what we want to train at the moment. On one day it may feel good to be persistent and on one day You prefer to practice flexibility and improvisation skills on someone else by coming up with a plan B, C or even D. Perhaps the frustration trigger is a chance to activate your own serenity? Or do you prefer to strengthen your own patience by working out a plan nothing, but simply waits without rushing, judging or throwing the gun too early? Note: We all have more in our skill repertoire than just anger and disappointment in order to react to frustration. “
6. Interpret differently
“Reframing – the reinterpretation – is a great tool from neurolinguistic programming: Is my interpretation of the situation the only ‘correct’ one? Or can I perceive it differently? Sitting in the frustration trap we tend to tunnel vision. So let’s think independently of our personal concern, from whatever other point of view the same situation can be viewed. The key lies in the apartment – bad luck for us, luck for the locksmith, an opportunity to get to know the neighbors better, and also an opportunity to slow down, if we’ll have to wait anyway. The more alternative interpretations we find, the easier it is for us to break away from tunnel vision. “
7. The Carpe Diem Chance
“Mark Twain is ascribed the following saying: ‘Give every day the chance to become the most beautiful of your life.’ One could also say: ‘One should never praise the day before evening – but neither should one write it down before evening.’ When we realize that the same day that brings us frustration, anger and nerves always has the potential to give us the most beautiful gift of all, the frustration no longer weighs so heavy Have the day of your life dragged down by a bump in the fender? Since we all don’t know what’s in store for us in the next hour, we should at least wait until 11:55 p.m. before we give up and say ‘Life is so unfair, it always hits me! ‘ whine.”