Back to ex?
Only when you solve these problems is a love comeback possible
© pressmaster / Adobe Stock
We often think of a love comeback with the ex-partner. But be careful – before starting over, some problems should be cleared out of the way.
The thought of getting back together with your ex-partner is not uncommon. After all, a relationship is usually associated with formative situations and beautiful moments. While many swear by the saying “Only goulash tastes good when it’s warmed up”, others are torn about trying it again. A comeback is never out of the question, but there are a few hurdles to overcome in a second attempt.
1. Get to the bottom of the matter
At the beginning there should be the question why it failed. Misaligned core values, poor communication skills, psychological problems, lack of attraction or sexual incompatibility are just a few signs, but they are more difficult to eliminate than you think. A reflection on the status quo can initially help to see where the partner stands – but also where one stands: Has anything changed after the separation? Can certain compromises be made now? What are the common interests and visions for the future? This reflection can help to lay the foundation for reunification right from the start.
2. Weighing
Before you even think about going back to your ex or taking him/her back, take some time for yourself. Draw clear boundaries, clear your head and create space to make new and conscious decisions. In any case, the severity of the reasons should be noted. If there are reasons such as jealousy or unpleasant behavior that led to the separation, you can get to the bottom of them more directly through confrontation and discussion.
However, issues such as emotional or physical abuse are so serious that a line should be final. Sexual attraction is also an issue that is difficult to recover. However, it is also worth remembering the positive sides of the person. If you are able to put certain problems in a different light and assess how realistic a change is, you will definitely be better off with a fresh start.
3. Together in a new relationship
And the emphasis is on the word together. Because if you want your relationship to really blossom again after a period of inactivity, then this process has to come from both sides. This new relationship is then built on new foundations, where feelings such as forgiveness, trust and security play a role. Only when you are ready to let the past rest can nothing stand in the way of a trusting new beginning.
A happy relationship always requires work from both sides. When your heart and head are in sync, you can go with your gut and see if coming back is really a good decision or not.
Sources used: yourtango.com, psychologytoday.com