If you ask friends, the theory is confirmed: many men make little to no noise during sex. Most women are really into it. Why is that?
If you experience men in their natural habitat, in a pack or in a football stadium, you don’t get the impression that it is difficult for them to make their presence known loudly. Not even when they’re doing something around the house, moaning and panting loudly, or flopping down on the couch. Anyone who has ever had to train next to a man in the gym usually knows that in this situation there is no inhibition whatsoever about accompanying the weight-lifting efforts with all sorts of noises. Only during sex, where we would find the moans really appropriate to quite hot, are they surprisingly quiet.
Ok, yes, I know it’s dripping with cliché up there, and it would be wrong to say that every man is like that per se. But I can at least say one thing from my experience: I can rightly say that most of the men I have slept with so far and also from my often involuntary participation in the sex lives of my neighbors in Hamburg’s rather noisy rental apartments: Except for the brief grunts In the end, you didn’t hear much from the man himself.
Women love it when he moans
Moaning men are an absolute for women Sex triggers. Many people find it super hot when he can let go and give himself over and that can also be heard. This can be seen, for example, on social media platforms such as TikTok: The search term “Male Whimpering”, which translates to male whining, already has 1.3 trillion views and there are another billion views for terms such as “Male Moaning”. This is primarily about audio recordings in which pleasure and ecstasy can be heard through male moans. And that goes down pretty well. The comment columns are full of mostly enthusiastic women.
Femtasy, the streaming platform for audio erotica, also sees clear signs: a compilation of several audios was created in which Men audibly climax come to one of the provider’s most listened to audios in a very short time.
So it turns out that women not only like hearing their partner’s desire, but that they what they may be missing in terms of auditory stimulation in their own bedget somewhere else.
But why are the men in the box so quiet?
There are different explanations for this:
1. Men are too cool: “Thinking stereotypically, many men want to come across as cool, show little emotion or even weakness – moaning is always an expression of feelings. But moaning can also be shameful. And it could just be a habit. Because men tend to have higher muscle tension, which makes it more difficult to let go,” explains sexologist Ben Kneubühler to esquire.de.
2. In mainstream porn, only the woman moans and usually incredibly exaggerated. Of course, this is because this porn is mostly made for straight men who want to hear women moan. But that’s not a real depiction of what sex really is and can be.
3. Moaning as an expression of feelings and that is still difficult for many men. Especially during sex, where you are already very naked, very vulnerable and very close to each other, men may feel uncomfortable. Here, social change could also lead to more moaning if we learn more and more to talk to each other about feelings.
Moaning as a turn-on
Of course, it’s not about making loud, pornographic moans, but audible pleasure, desire and ecstasy are great sex triggers. Because not only the noise itself, but also the self-confidence that it requires and the certain personal maturity are very attractive. But it also feels good to see how much the other person likes it or whether you are doing what you are doing right, and it gives you security. Talking about sex is great, but noticing what turns others on is even hotter.
Let it flow – you can practice moaning
Inhibitions often play a big role. If that is the case, it will of course take a lot of effort at first, but it will get easier the more you do it – without pressure, of course, but also without acting. Basically it’s about letting go, about feeling and letting yourself go and that requires security. Nobody should feel obligated to put on a show right now, but maybe it will be even better if you dare to jump over your own shadow. Most women will obviously like it and let’s be honest: who doesn’t like hearing how good the other person is?
We communicate through much more than just words, and that also applies in bed. It’s a huge turn-on, not only the moans can tell you what feels particularly good without many words. This cannot replace open communication about sex, but sometimes it is enough to notice that the other person is getting louder when you touch someone in a certain way to understand without saying a lot that you are on the right path.