She is an expert in the field: Her podcast "Proud to be Sensibelchen" is extremely successful, and now she has written another book on the subject. We spoke to the highly sensitive author Anna Maria Schwarzberg.
Let's start at the very beginning: what exactly is high sensitivity?
It means that the brain works a little differently. This means that all sensory channels are permanently open, the stimuli go through unfiltered. There is no spam filter. On the one hand this is very nice because you perceive life very intensely, on the other hand this maximum amount of stimuli that goes in and has to be processed by the brain is incredibly exhausting. It's doubly exhausting when you don't know why you are so different. A good example is a train journey: someone who is not so sensitive opens his book and reads. A highly sensitive person perceives everything, the smells, the basic mood and the temperature of the seat. He or she cannot exhibit any of the surrounding conversations, cannot establish focus for what he or she actually wants to do.
Do you tell people when you meet them that you are highly sensitive?
No. I find it rather creepy when you walk through the world and shout out to everyone, "By the way, I'm highly sensitive". My friends know it, of course, and a few others too, because the subject as a podcaster, publisher and author has meanwhile become my job, but otherwise I won't let that hang out. At most, I say that I am a loner and like to be in peace.
Was it difficult to write your very personal story?
Yes, yes. It was another written review of my very early burnout and the negative aspects of sensitivity.
But you don't just write about the negative sides. What is the good thing about your high sensitivity?
What I don't want to miss is my gut feeling. After that, I ultimately make all the decisions. I briefly lost that about my burnout a few years ago, but basically I can rely on it.
How did you get burned out? Did it have to do with your sensitivity?
I believe that a whole lot of things that happened and came up in my life had nothing to do with my sensitivity, but with the fact that I had to find myself. I got burned out back then because I always took the wrong turn at work and focused more on what was suggested from the outside. I did what I was supposed to do rather than what I really wanted to do. That's why I ended up in a field that wasn't even mine. Still, I thought I just had to do more and adapt more. Everyone else managed to do that too. I went beyond my personal limits, slept less, ate less, took no breaks.
At the time I was working on victim compensation law, it was very stressful work. At the same time, I was trying to find out what I actually want to do for a living and writing for a magazine on the side. I was rushed, driven, full of worry and fear. I just went over the top, couldn't sleep, and then collapsed. Fortunately, my family doctor took this very seriously and advised me to go to therapy.
How did you finally realize that you are highly sensitive?
I found out about this through an article that I came across by accident. I thought that sounded a lot like me and started researching. I read a lot of texts and studies about it. At that time I was still in therapy with my burnout, which I had when I was 25, and then took the subject into therapy. Fortunately, my therapist was very open to it, not everyone. Therapists sometimes don't really care about the issue of high sensitivity. I can understand that too, after all, high sensitivity is not a disease, it is a personality trait.
Is there actually any scientific evidence for high sensitivity?
There are studies that deal with the subject, with how it all comes about, that it can be inherited, how many people are affected by it. Also with the fact that the serotonin level is lowered in highly sensitive people, not as much as in depressed people, but lower than in other people. Then there is research on how crucial it is to development how you grow up. But it is still not a disease, even if you can feel bad with it, it is not a disorder.
How do you deal with your high sensitivity in your life?
After accepting that I am highly sensitive and that there are good and bad things associated with it, I was able to focus on who I am. I was able to focus on what my needs and wants are. However, that was a process that dragged on for years and is still far from complete. But in the last few years I have changed a few things that bring more calm to my life. A very big point was that I moved from Hamburg to Magdeburg. We live very quietly here with a dog and a garden. Among other things, I bought a dog to establish habits and be even more outdoors in nature. That was a very positive and very big change. I also started my own business so that I could work more independently and at my own pace and rhythm. I checked relationships and looked to see who's doing me good and who I'm just not breaking up with because it's uncomfortable. Recently I tinkered a lot with my everyday life, looked at when I can get up well, how I would like to spend my afternoon and as a sensitive person can best survive. That I can live as I want and not as it is determined from the outside. Basically, I think we should all listen more to our gut instincts.
A lot of the things you describe in your book are sure to apply to many people …
Of course, I wrote the book in such a way that it offers a high potential for identification. I deliberately picked out stories and anecdotes in which you can identify yourself. Also bad situations, because I wanted to offer a look at the negative sides. According to studies, it is assumed that 15 to 20 percent of people are highly sensitive, and there can be an increase in certain environments. You usually attract those who are like you. Many of my friends are extremely sensitive and also hermit women like me. In social and creative professions there are often very sensitive people because it is their strengths to empathize with people and to find new creative and lateral thinking ways.
But highly sensitive people don't have to be introverted, do they?
No, around two thirds are introverted and one third are extroverted. There are not only the extreme variants, but a lot of shades of gray. That's why I don't speak of high sensitivity, but rather of sensitivity.
If I have any suspicions: How can I find out whether I am highly sensitive?
There are very simple, short self-assessment tests that you can do online. For example on the website of researcher Elaine Aron, who has dealt intensively with the topic – or on our website in the German translation. But if you want to know exactly, you can ask for a comprehensive test in the psychological or psychotherapeutic practice. Knowing that this might apply to you is often nothing new, but it is a liberating feeling that the whole thing has a name.
Is sensitivity your job now? Does that annoy you sometimes?
Not yet (she laughs). In theory, I have the option of stopping if I no longer want to. At the moment I find it very exciting to report on sensitive topics. Both those that affect the individual as well as those sensitive topics that are more likely to be subject to a stigma and have not yet fully arrived in society.
Cover_Sensibelchen
"Proud to be Sensibelchen. How I learned to love my high sensitivity" by Maria Anna Schwarzberg is published by Rowohlt Taschenbuch Verlag and costs 12 euros.