Martin Speer: We need feminist men


The next stage of equality needs men. Feminist Martin Speer is convinced of this.

BARBARA: Mr. Speer, you are a feminist. Who is raising the eyebrows: women or men?

Martin Speer: This means that explanations are required on both sides from time to time. Most of the amazement comes from men, however, as there are relatively few male feminists who argue for it publicly.

Please explain to us: What makes you a man to be a women’s rights activist?

The deep conviction that men and women deserve the same opportunities and approaches. But we do not yet have this state of equality.

And does it take men to reach it?

Absolutely. After all, we and our behavioral patterns are often the cause of the problem: Men have created the structures in society, politics and the economy that discriminate against women. As long as men do not recognize this power imbalance, they ensure that discrimination and sexism persist. Feminist Robert Franken aptly says: Men are either part of the problem or part of the solution. In addition: Men also benefit from women’s rights.

Many men seem to see it differently …

I can’t understand that, because there is a wide range of studies on this. Men in equal relationships are happier, live longer, and even have better sex. Companies where diversity plays a role are more competitive and creative. Even in politics we come to better solutions when all perspectives are on the table. The world would clearly be a better one through a society with equal rights.

Wouldn’t men also have to rethink their role models for this?

Yes, a lack of assertiveness, for example, is still associated with femininity – and the loud man is considered a strong leader. That pisses me off. I’m counting on the next generation that doesn’t copy the mistakes their fathers made, which make them sick and depressed. Because the misfortune of many men stems from a disturbed relationship to their masculinity. They think: I solve a problem by not talking about it or by devaluing others. It’s toxic.

Unfortunately, it is also a fact that many people only discover gender injustice when they have daughters of their own.

This is also due to the fact that the majority of men do not know what sexism feels like in everyday life or disadvantage at work. Of course, the girlfriend or sister will tell you about an incident – but not every day. Everyday discrimination is so much the norm that women often stop talking about it. Everyone reads the statistics on wage differentials, sexual violence, online hate or glass ceilings – but that’s abstract. There has to be an emotional trigger so that men notice: These numbers are millions of experiences.

How can that be changed?

By each man asking his sister, mother, wife or girlfriend a question: What is your experience with sexism? And then just listen. Without commenting, without evaluating, without interrupting. Such a conversation sets a lot in motion. We noticed that in our work.

What was your aha experience?

I grew up in a small town in Middle Franconia. Dealing with women’s rights or inequality was a sign of unmanliness in my world at the time. It wasn’t until my late twenties that a good friend, Vincent-Immanuel Herr, made it clear to me that there was a problem here. Another man practically advised me to listen better. And when I did that, a gate of knowledge opened. I asked myself: Jeez, why haven’t I noticed that in all these years? As a gay man, I knew discrimination, but not because of my gender.

What did the women around you tell you?

I didn’t know, for example, that my mother – she works in the male-dominated construction industry – still has to listen to sexist slogans in meetings or on the construction site. Or my sister goes home scared at night. I often didn’t let women finish the conversation, and always had an answer ready. I wasn’t aware of these behavior patterns, this narrow male gaze – and nobody held up the mirror to me. Not even myself.

You want to initiate this rethinking as an ambassador for the “HeforShe” campaign of the women’s organization “UN Women Germany”. As the?

There are six honorary ambassadors in Germany. For example, together with my colleague Vincent-Immanuel Herr, I give workshops and offer advice at universities, in companies and in politics so that more men recognize gender injustice as a problem – and act.

But many are already looking for the distance when it comes to quota. How do you make them think?

Of course we often hear, also from young men: Women are already equal everywhere, what do they want now? When one is privileged, one does not see the non-existent privilege of others. Many give in to the illusion that we are already further. But the numbers speak against it. It becomes clear: there is still a big difference between the legal framework and actual practice in almost all EU countries. The tough nut to crack lies in the social norm. An example: During the MeToo debate, there was one of the largest protests in Spain. A very emancipated society, one might think. At the same time, it became clear to us in discussions on site how powerful the traditional image of the family still is, which restricts both men and women and differs from what is presented in the media.

So what do men have to do?

Listen first, develop sensitivity, then open your mouth. Because everyday sexism happens all the time, and many have no idea where it begins. We should therefore approach other men when they tap sexist slogans or speak humiliatingly. And not just in private, especially at work.

For example?

I remember a report from a journalist. A colleague in a small group came up with a good idea and a colleague simply took it over as his own without giving her the credit for it. The journalist stepped in and made it clear to the large group that this was unacceptable. When injustice occurs, men should not be silent.

Isn’t that also part of the fact that deals are not closed in gentlemen’s rounds at night?

You can’t prevent men from meeting at a hotel bar at night. But it is easy for men with managerial responsibility to provide panels and teams with more diversity and to schedule meetings at times that allow men and women to pick up their children from school, for example. It would also be a good idea if everyone had to go through training on gender equality and the Bundestag had equal representation.

The outcry would be enormous.

Not surprising. Many fears play a role – and that is what makes the resistance so great: Men notice that patriarchy is approaching its end times. The days are numbered where they have an advantage just because of being man. Power is not given up voluntarily, it takes pressure. But the debate is much wider than it was a few years ago. That gives me hope. We can’t let up now.

Finally: How do feminists actually find their use?

Basically good, difficult is when men consider themselves to be the better feminists. I see myself as a supporter, want to make a contribution – and reach a different audience. For the future, I am convinced that women and men must go the same way.

MARTIN SPEER In addition to his ambassadorial role, he is a political advisor and part of the Berlin team of authors and activists Herr & Speer

BARBARA 54/2021