Rather than going straight to the point without really taking the time to explore your sensations, meditative masturbation promotes full body awareness. A practice that could prove to be a valuable ally for relaxation, as well as for giving each other love.
In the age of the coronavirus, where anxiety and stress lurk, the importance of taking care of yourself and staying grounded in the present moment has become essential. And while there are many practices for improving mental well-being, there is one that is less talked about and that we would like to draw your attention to: meditative masturbation. For several years now, it has been observed that meditation, and more specifically mindfulness, participates in sexual fulfillment. From tantrism to slow sex through mindful sex, mindful sex invites you to focus on your feelings, without worrying about performance, timing, and orgasm.
Increase attention to increase the intensity of sensations. This is also what conscious masturbation advocates, which encourages taking the time to live the moment to the fullest and do yourself good as it should.
What is meditative masturbation?
Meditative masturbation is a mindfulness practice that aims to increase awareness of what is pleasurable, while encouraging a slower, more intentional approach to solo exploration of one's sexuality. "Often, masturbation is about pulling something out of yourself (an orgasm, for example) to release tension. Conversely, conscious masturbation will deepen the relationship with oneself, open a field of confidence. It is a relationship with the inside of oneself, and not just with the outside ", explains Nathalie Giraud-Desforges, sex therapist and tantra course leader.
In addition to focusing on what feels good, this practice intends to actively change the way we approach sex as a whole. Unlike frantic masturbation, which often ends in orgasm, this form of masturbation goes beyond a quick session and helps to establish a much deeper connection with yourself. “It's all the way that is interesting, what happens under the skin, at the level of breathing, the authorizations that we give ourselves, it is to welcome the critical parts in ourselves, to give ourselves 'love', develops the sex therapist. "Meditative masturbation is like a gift to yourself", says Dr Janet Brito, sex therapist, to Paper Magazine. Thus, Nathalie Giraud-Desforges prefers to speak ofauto-eroticism, rather than masturbation, which comes from the Latin manu stuprare and means “to pollute oneself with the hand”. "In tantra, we use the term 'being able to honor yourself', which I already find more loving and benevolent towards oneself", she confides. "Words have their scope".
How to get into conscious masturbation?
"The action is almost asking your body if it's okay first", says Nathalie Giraud-Desforges. The best way to start, Dr. Janet Brito says, is to plan for a distraction-free time where you have the time, energy and mental resources to do some real soul-searching. You have to breathe in movement, and use your breath and your hand as an “anchor” to stay in the present moment, schematizes Nathalie Giraud-Desforges. "On inhalation, we take whatever is good, and in the exhale, we send it to all parts of our body", she specifies. Rather than focusing all of your attention on the vulva and clitoris, you allow yourself to explore other erogenous zones. You don't hesitate to use your other hand to get out of autopilot mode and discover new forms of pleasure. The idea is to be curious, to indulge in all the sensations. “A lot of times it's also going to be slowing down the movement and being aware of what is going on in the body. Developing the small sensations of tremors, of climbs, is to be careful that the body sends us back as bodily sensations ", advances the sex therapist.
On the release of its Nova 2 sex toy, the We-Vibe brand teamed up with Aubry Marie, a notorious American yoga teacher and influencer, to create videos that combine yoga and meditation. The goal ? Make conscious masturbation accessible to everyone through a self-love, sensual and decelerated routine. For those who want to give it a try, the videos are still available on Youtube, here.
Free yourself from stress and the diktat of orgasm
There is no shortage of benefits of meditative masturbation. As Dr Jenn Gunsaullus, a sociologist specializing in sexual health, interviewed by Paper Magazine, explains the practice helps overcome deeply held belief systems – which is especially important for women who "Have been trained to regard their body as an enemy or to think that self-pleasure is not acceptable". "Often, this is another way to overcome certain sexual problems: in cases of premature ejaculation for example, it allows the sensation to be brought back into the field of consciousness", abounds Nathalie Giraud-Desforges.
When there is less mental load, the pleasure is more intense
At this new pleasure, no pressure: orgasm is not the goal. It is the possible result of fully experienced feelings. "The 'slow' aspect allows these sensations to develop and the mind to meet them. You can ride that ridge of orgasm which is so damn good, but it doesn't get you in frustration because orgasm doesn't come. In this meditative masturbation, if there is an orgasm, it's great, if there isn't, most likely the body will have surfed on altered states of consciousness with the breathing, and it will be very pleasant ", tells us the sex therapist. "A conscious masturbation, because you are connected to the sensations, brings you back to the present moment, so there is less mental load; and when there is less mental load, the pleasure is even more intense ", she insists. And in that sense, it's even better for sleep, stress, well-being, etc. Finally, according to Nathalie Giraud-Desforges, this masturbation would make it possible to fill the lack of physical contact that has been felt since the start of the epidemic and that the Anglo-Saxons call "skin hunger". "With confinement (or curfew), putting a benevolent hand on yourself with time, love, waiting for the vulva to open, for the clitoris to wake up, it's pretty good to give information to your body that you are not alone, because the body is starving at the moment ”, says the expert. "The more we touch and stroke, the less the brain distinguishes between our hand and that of another". Hugging, caressing, touching, masturbating, all these gestures of love have a beneficial impact on the system, by secreting endorphin, dopamine and oxytocin, the hormones of well- be and fun. A great way to take care of yourself, and give yourself love during this difficult time.
Video: how to get started with tantric sex?
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