Spending a torrid night with the man who shares her life, as if we didn’t know each other, is a common fantasy. A sexologist gives us her opinion on this specific fantasy.
Fantasizing is not only natural, but it’s also very healthy for a fulfilling sex life. Fantasies can be very simple and easily achievable, or on the contrary much more complicated. None are shameful, shocking, scandalous, ridiculous or absurd. Whether you are in a couple or single, whether you have an “unbridled” or rather “quiet” sexuality, fantasy is an integral part of our sex life. Having sex with a co-worker, having a threesome, having sex in a public place, having sex in a swimming pool, watching strangers… everyone has at least one fantasy that they have never fulfilled. And often several.
We are between us, we tell each other everything and today we lift the veil on our greatest fantasies. An expert explains what they mean and how they can be good to make.
Focus on a common fantasy: playing strangers with your other half.
I remember seeing this scene in the Modern Family series. Claire and Phil offer each other one evening a year during which they pretend to meet at the hotel or at the restaurant, then spend a “caliente” night together, far from their three children and their daily hassles.
For several years, I have this unacknowledged fantasy of reproducing a scene of this type with my husband. I go to the beautician and offer me a neat manicure and perfect hair removal. I put on my red fringed wig, the one from my Julie Lescaut fancy dress party. I put on black lace underwear, the ones I bought on sale because I thought they were beautiful, but which I never put on because they weren’t comfortable. I slip into a fitted dress, the one with the plunging neckline that I don’t assume, but that I still keep in my closet. And I put on these black patent high heels reserved in principle for very special occasions. I go to a fancy hotel, and sit at the bar, where the light is dim. A man comes and sits next to me, and without my saying a word, with a wave of his hand, he orders me a glass of champagne. He is in a suit but has taken off his tie, a dark overcoat is on the stool next to him. Then he starts talking to me. He is a doctor, or a businessman, traveling for a conference. He doesn’t know anyone and is bored. He tells me that he “doesn’t like to drink alone”.
Re-learning to seduce yourself
We start talking about travel, cinema. And gradually he gets closer to me. His hand comes once or twice to brush against my thigh or my bare shoulder, by “accident”. After a few drinks, he gets up and puts the double of the magnetic card for his room on the bar. “You never know,” he told me.
I finish my cut, and let him languish for a few minutes before taking the card and joining him. When he opens the door, I throw myself on him and kiss him passionately. We undress slowly, by candlelight. I keep my high heels and lacy underwear on as I push him onto the bed and straddle him. Then we let’s make passionate love without fear of making noise. He offers me to continue our antics in the walk-in shower. And it is there, under the jet of hot water, that we both enjoy. After love, we put on a bathrobe and share a chocolate bar slumped on the bed. This stranger then becomes my husband again.
The opinion of Margaux Terrou, sexologist
Margaux Terrou is a sexologistcouple therapist and speaker explains that this specific fantasy represents a need to get out of the routine.
“To meet and make love like two strangers. A common fantasy that can even be very healthy to achieve. I sometimes recommend it to certain couples who come to see me. It allows you to place yourself in an environment that goes out of everyday life, and recreate a context of seduction and flirting with his/her partner. You can then break your routine as a couple without risking weakening or breaking the relationship by adding a third person, and it is a good way to renew two her erotic imagination. “
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Loïse is addicted to current events, to TV series which she consumes whenever she has the time, to comics, to running which she practices whether it rains or snows, and…