Mimic: These 7 tips will increase your charisma

Facial expressions: why we shouldn’t underestimate non-verbal language

Did you know? In a normal conversation, our communication is ongoing 80 percent non-verbal. Significantly more than half (!) Of what we want to say is conveyed non-verbally. That means: Our facial expressions, gestures, language and posture send messages to our counterpart. And these speechless messages are more important than the wordsthat we are actually talking about.

You may know that yourself. The partner is acting strangely. When you bring up the subject, comes in “There is nothing.” back. But somehow you can’t believe it. Because something about the way the sentence was said doesn’t seem right. And that makes the words unimportant – that’s the power of non-verbal communication!

The plays a particularly important role facial expressions. Your facial expression has a huge impact on how others view you. The sunshine that smiles often or rather the curmudgeon that never moves a face – facial expressions make up your being. But while the subject is so important, many hardly bother with it. The facial expression can have a decisive influence on your appearance!

Facial expressions: nervousness as a charisma killer

In situations in which we actually want to convince, we often lose our charismatic aura. That’s because changed our non-verbal communication significantly. Who does not know it: The voice trembles through tension, we hardly show any gestures and suppress our facial expressions. Whether it’s a job interview or a date: if we are nervous, we appear completely different! So that you don’t lose your charisma even in critical situations, you should keep the following tips in mind.

Tip 1: check the starting position

“Why do you look so angry?” Our neutral facial expression often looks very different from what we think (which is often affectionately referred to as “resting bitch face”). So if you want to hone your facial expressions, you should deal with the initial situation first. Perhaps the corners of the mouth are naturally a little deeper? Then you shouldn’t hold back when smiling or laughing! Because you seem a bit more serious due to the structure of your face.

Tip 2: keep eye contact (this is how you keep it longer!)

As the saying goes: the eyes are the window to the soul. That might sound a little puffy, but one thing is for sure – to look someone straight in the eye, inspires confidence and signals interest. Therefore, you should seek eye contact as often as possible in conversations. Depending on the person you are talking to, however, it can be quite difficult to keep your gaze and not look away again straight away.

Are you having a hard time making eye contact? Try the following trick: Focus consciously on one eye of your counterpart. Jumping back and forth between the two can seem unsafe and make it even harder to maintain eye contact. Your gaze appears calmer (and therefore more confident) if, for example, you aim at the right eye of the person you are talking to, as seen by you.

By the way: You shouldn’t keep eye contact for too long either – this then acts like a stare and feels uncomfortable for the person opposite you. It is best to change focus after four to five seconds and then resume eye contact.

Tip 3: real smile (what makes the difference)

A real, serious smile is one of the strongest signals of facial expressions. What is more attractive than pure joy? When we are nervous, it is often very difficult for us to feel exactly this joy due to the internal pressure. And that’s a shame – because someone who smiles often appears more personable.

A forced smile However, it is not a solution either – your counterpart recognizes this (often subconsciously) immediately. The reason: Certain muscle groups, for example the eye sphincter, which reacts when you really smile, cannot be controlled in a targeted manner.

But there is still a trick that can be used to achieve a real smile when you are nervous: Remember an experience that made you very happy. For example a legendary birthday party or a wonderful vacation. These experiences are linked to real positive feelings in your memory – we often smile just thinking about these experiences. A good trick to create a positive mood before presentations, the first date or critical employee appraisals.

Tip 4: Allow facial expressions

Charisma is not the same as sympathy, but it is often strongly related to it. In general, people seem likeable and trustworthy to us when they are show lively facial expressions (and gestures). Because then we don’t have the feeling that they are suppressing or hiding something – and that inspires trust. So don’t be afraid to allow feelings such as joy, sadness or anger in your facial expressions. Of course, always as far as it suits the situation.

Here are other tips that reveal how you can appear personable.

Tip 5: Avoid facial expressions that can be misunderstood

Facial expression is the universal languagethat each of us understands. Even if we are in a foreign country: Facial expressions do not lie and help you in every social interaction. But it can sometimes be misunderstood – and then you immediately lose your positive charisma.

The following facial expressions reduce your positive charisma:

You can also find other exciting topics relating to personality, career and motivation in the BRIGITTE Community. Have a look!

Sources used: researchgate.com, forbes.com, link.springer.com